What are men thinking?

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
What are men thinking?
34
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 4:47pm

I got an email from a guy today who I have a lot in common with (this is unusual). I got kind of excited. He's the right age. So, I look through his pictures...all OK except one: it's a nude shot, taken in his bathroom mirror (the dreaded self-portrait, with a twist), but stops just north of the "danger" zone. This is so disappointing. I don't hear from that many men who I really have things in common with...WHAT'S UP WITH THE NUDE PHOTO??? I don't even like shirtless photos. The thing is, I think he's just being "funny," not necessarily trying to be sexual, but who can tell?

Part of me wants to reply and tell him he may wish to consider removing NUDE PHOTOS. Should I? I know, I know, my policy has always been "no response" and I suppose that's what I'll do.

Pffffft.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 10:25am

We are visual creatures and naturally think you think like us.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 10:41am

Good point. But, really, how could an intelligent man think a woman wants to see a naked picture of him before you've even meet, especially on a site like match.com (not an "adult" site)*. Honestly, would a man looking for a "serious" relationship really think a woman who posted a nude photo was serious about a relationship? Would he really?

*I can see why you would want this on an adult site--and there's nothing wrong with it if that's your thing--but I just can't see it otherwise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 11:38am

The answer to your question is: he isn't intelligent or serious about a relationship.

sooooobig
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 2:11pm

LOL!

I think you've really summed it up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 2:24pm

<<< I look through his pictures...all OK except one: it's a nude shot, taken in his bathroom mirror (the dreaded self-portrait, with a twist), but stops just north of the "danger" zone. This is so disappointing. >>>


Question #1 if it stops just north of this so called "danger zone" how do you know 100% thats he's nude and not just wearing low slung jeans? Why assume?


#2...danger zone? Ummm? Why is it dangerous? ;)


#3 why do you find it dissappointing that a man is comfortable with how he looks and shares that?


<<<Part of me wants to reply and tell him he may wish to consider removing NUDE PHOTOS. Should I? .>>>


No, you should


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 2:29pm

<<<The answer to your question is: he isn't intelligent or serious about a relationship.


Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Fri, 11-06-2009 - 6:39am

Thanks for the input, here are my thoughts:

"Question #1 if it stops just north of this so called "danger zone" how do you know 100% thats he's nude and not just wearing low slung jeans? Why assume?"

Trust me. He was nude. He shot it as a self-portrait in the bathroom mirror. There were things strategically placed on the vanity to cover up "the family jewels"

"#2...danger zone? Ummm? Why is it dangerous? ;)" I used danger zone as a euphemism.

"#3 why do you find it dissappointing that a man is comfortable with how he looks and shares that?"

I don't see this as "being comfortable" with his looks: I see it as crude and overtly sexual as well as exhibitionistic. To me it's the equivalent of unzipping his pants on a first date.

"No, you should not tell him that he should consider removing "nude" photos. Its none of your business what he has on his profile. If you dont like it...move on."

True, none of my business, but I would hazard a guess that most women would be highly offended by this and would never reply to him. But, you're right--why bother? If he thinks this is cute and fun and being proud of his body then great, maybe another woman would find this charming. I do not.

When I begin dating a man, I like to take things slow sexually. I just think shirtless photos and especially nude photos put sex front and center before you've even met, and to me, say, "I'm looking for sex right away." Believe me, sex is very important to me in a relationship, but I don't want it on the table before we've even met.




Edited 11/6/2009 6:41 am ET by floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Fri, 11-06-2009 - 11:05am

I'm right there with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2009
Fri, 11-06-2009 - 11:55am

So this guy mistakenly thinks that women think like men.

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.       ~Anonymous
 &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Fri, 11-06-2009 - 12:12pm

"He's being honest about what he has to offer physically and probably wishes more of us women would too. Nothing wrong with that. And there are some people who are not inhibited by seeing almost nude pictures of the opposite sex. Even on a dating site. Maybe he works hard to stay in shape and wants to discourage women who don't from 'applying'. I probably wouldn't contact him, but I'm not offended by it either. And I don't consider Match to be the place to find a 'serious' relationship. Seriously dating, maybe. Which usually includes sex. So send us a link to his profile. I could use some eye candy on a Friday."


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