What are women really looking for?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
What are women really looking for?
82
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 4:14pm

I would love a female perspective here. What do you all (I could've said "yall" but I refrained) look for in a man?

I know this is a very general question, but I want you to be specific.

Imagine that through the marvel of modern technology there was such a thing as a "Man Store". You could go in and custom order your perfect guy. A week later, your new man would be ready for pickup (or delivery if you so choose). He of course would be madly in love with you. :-) What physical characteristics would you choose? Would you want him to look just like Adrian Paul? (lol, just kidding). Be shallow if you want. If you want him to have 6-pack abs, say so. What about personality? When you were ordering your man, any detail that you left out would be automatically chosen. So, if you did not specify a hair color it could be whatever.

Look forward to reading your responses.

Eric

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 4:39pm

Hi Eric,

Great topic! What I'm looking for in a guy is a man who can be my best friend. I want a man who is fun, caring, intelligent, curious and warm, a guy I can joke around with and be serious when the time comes. I love a man who I can have great conversations with, who will respect my opinion even if we don't agree and who has opinions about the world. A man who respects others and their work, who is not afraid of hard work himself, who has ambition, who is curious about the world and strives to learn is the guy for me. Loyalty, honesty, dedication and a willingess to work through our issues are other qualities I seek. (I'm sure when I'm done posting, I'll think of other things!)

Physically, I'd like a guy who is taller than me (because I love to be hugged) and is on the stocky side (not sloppy, just big enough so I feel protected).

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 7:44pm

I'll play. My fantasy man, here goes....

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 8:58pm
I would order a guy that is very slender, wiry-looking, the runner/cycler type with pointy knees, slim legs, thin ankles, nice "soccer" muscle over the knee. Since you asked to be shallow - so I will continue - he would have quick moves/reactions, athletic but not in the stocky, heavy weight kind of way but quick, boyish looking. He would have no facial hair (I don't care for mustache), short haircut with sl. long sideburns. He would have a small behind.
This guy of my dreams would be about 6' tall, blue or green eyes. Oh, did I mention - he would have to be a good kisser :)
Look alikes would be - Adam (singer for Maroon 5), the front man for Killers, Jude Law.
Very important - he has to be witty, charming and more intelligent than me :) Looks is just 1st impression - if there is nothing behind it - the person is too boring to be with and I would move on..
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 9:01am

Great topic, Eric!
My fantasy guy would be a lot like my current boyfriend. Extraordinary IQ, macho in a confident kind of way (not a dumb jock kind of way), irreverent and teasing sense of humor, talented and skilled in his chosen field, which happens to be engineering -- licensed and qualified to fix anything mechanical or electrical (very convenient!)

He'd be well-read, able to discuss ideas and philosophies. Left of center politically. The abs I don't care so much about but the arms I like kind of big. He'd have enough income so that when we put our resources together we could be comfortable and go on vacations sometimes. (In a serious fantasy, we'd BOTH be independently wealthy and not have to work, but I am not greedy.)
He'd pick up after himself and have good personal hygiene. He'd be able to cook and would love to dance.

He would make me feel important in his life. He would be kind and considerate and want a lot of sex and make me feel like it was he wanted ME, not just that he was generically horny...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 9:44pm

He would be taller than me, weigh more than me, have a bigger chest than me, and have shorter hair than me, even bald works. Must have facial hair, must have graduated from high school, must be close to his family and have a close group of friends who are good people, must be gainfully employed and responsible, must be close to my age, must be emotionally available. He has to be honest, giving, witty, and have a good heart. I like guys who take care of themselves most of the time but let loose a little on the weekends. He's gotta have a bike and a truck. I'd like it if he made more money than me. This paragraph I believe is attainable for me because I've had boyfriends who fit all these prerequisites.

Here's the "yeah good luck getting that" paragraph: a guy who doesn't care that it takes me an hour and a half to get ready for anything, who I trust beyond a shadow of a doubt, who says what he means and does what he says, and who has no problem sharing his feelings - good or bad.

I dream of a guy who loves me for me and can't get enough of me in the sack. I dream of a man I can't wait to get home to. I dream of a best friend who has my back like I have his - ALL THE TIME even if we're mad at each other.

Seems like a tall order but I found him once already. So I am NOT throwing in the towel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 11:50pm

I have come to realize that I don't really have a type in the physical sense. I do seem to be attracted to men with brown hair over blonds though. I am also rarely attracted to a man that is slim. I prefer a man to be a bit larger even if it means he is a few pounds overweight (a few pounds not a few dozen). I thought I was only attracted to men that are quite a bit taller than I am but found myself attracted to someone last week that is not much taller than me so I guess that isn't a requirement either.

What I find most attractive is a great sense of humor that borders on irreverence. He must be intelligent and fairly well educated. I would like to find someone that is fairly successful in his chosen profession not because of the success itself but because of the qualities needed to succeed. I would like a man that is comfortable meeting and mingling and can be comfortable and make those around him comfortable regardless of their station in life. I think the way one treats those with less power and influence is a major clue to personality.

When I look back over the past 20 years, I find that very few of the men that I've dated more than a few times were really good looking and most I would never have considered having a relationship with until I had known them for some time. I seem to need to get to know a man before I find him interesting. This is making OLD almost impossible for me but the upside it that I don't seem to be superficial.

I met one man through OLD and he believes the reason I (and a few others) didn't want to date him again was because he wasn't GQ material. The truth was that he was obviously resentful about paying child support and was still bitter and critical about his ex after years of separation.

Very interesting question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 12:21am

I'll be honest - I like brainy geeks!!!

so, my ideal man....
-has a graduate degree
-Can talk for hours about almost anything, and not just academics
-will spend Sunday mornings in bed with me alternating sex and talking politics
-has unique interests, and things to share with me
-is still athletic, and has 'distance' muscles, ie. not bluky, but slim and CUT
-likes kids, make that loves; since I want at least 4....
-is attentive & thoughful. Full of romantic surprises
-is quick-witted
-I prefer dark curly hair, but am willing to settle for others, dark curls and blue eyes are my weakness
-Is smarter then me (this is really my #1, I am not attracted to men who are not smarter then I am, I think this leads to lame conversation)

That's all I can think of at the moment.

~Laura


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 1:10am

My ideal man is very similar to the one I'm currently dating...

Personality-wise: Educated, and street-start as well, humor that borders on the questionable and irreverant, politically very left, not entirely thrilled with the idea of children or any traditional ideas of marriage or relationships, works out but not obsessed with it, likes to travel, sample different cultures, music, movies, books, wine, coffee, etc. Very "untypical." Typical is so boring, IMHO. I also like a guy with some fire. You know - not a "nice" guy. I don't date "nice" guys. I like kind guys. There's a big difference. If I'm being a b*tch, I want him to be able to tell me to shut my mouth and get over it. He has to be able to stand up for himself. And my SO has no problem doing that.

Looks: well, my SO is blonde-haired and blue-eyed. I'm more a dark-haired, dark-eyed type of girl. Physically if you think of Hugh Jackman or Trent Reznor, you've got the image of my "perfect" guy, but looks are so secondary in my book. And I don't care about superficialities like height, weight and so forth. Those don't matter to me. If a guy is a smart cupcake but can laugh out loud at something stupid like the animation of Don Hertzfelt or "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," while eating a chicken vindaloo and drinking a cheap beer, THAT's my guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 1:22am

I have few physical requirements: for me it is more about personality and character.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 9:05am
okay here's mine:
- 5'10" or taller (I'm 5'8" and I like to wear heels every now and then)
- combination of Patrick Muldoon and Patrick Dempsey
- clean shaven though sometimes I like a nice goatee
- respectful, funny, common sense, caring, alittle smarter than me
- not too skinny or fat, I don't like alot of muscles, so I guess trim would work
- very family oriented, likes to travel and plans vacations
- enjoys weekends doing stuff around the house
- great with kids
- athletic but not obsessive
- great in bed!

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