What are women really looking for?
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| Sat, 04-23-2005 - 4:14pm |
I would love a female perspective here. What do you all (I could've said "yall" but I refrained) look for in a man?
I know this is a very general question, but I want you to be specific.
Imagine that through the marvel of modern technology there was such a thing as a "Man Store". You could go in and custom order your perfect guy. A week later, your new man would be ready for pickup (or delivery if you so choose). He of course would be madly in love with you. :-) What physical characteristics would you choose? Would you want him to look just like Adrian Paul? (lol, just kidding). Be shallow if you want. If you want him to have 6-pack abs, say so. What about personality? When you were ordering your man, any detail that you left out would be automatically chosen. So, if you did not specify a hair color it could be whatever.
Look forward to reading your responses.
Eric

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Hmm...I personally have found that men who DON'T have any true platonic female friends have real *issues*.
Sheri
ITA
I can't imagine being with someone who isn't well rounded enough to have friends from all walks of life, male OR female.
Well that's your guys' experience. The men in my life cheated with one of these "girl-friends" and the other's "girl-friend" insulted me repeatedly at every chance she got, and because she was friends with him before he found me, he told me straight out that she would basically ALWAYS be more important to him than I would. And to boot, he was in unrequited love with this female dog for a year before he met me. (And this is a guy who lost his virginity to me, and told me I was the only person in his life who treated him so wonderfully.)
So, I can't imagine having another guy introducing me to one of his "girl-friends"; I think that would be like putting a loaded gun to my head if I continued on with him.
So ALL men are unable to have mature, non-sexual relationships with women because of your experience with ONE man, and ALL men with motorcycles are bad because of your experience with ONE man.
Okaaaaay.....
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Okaaaaay.....>>
IF you read my last post, it wasn't ONE man, it was TWO. The only two I've had significant love relationships with.
As for the motorcycles, I didn't say the men who ride them are bad per se, I simply said I would not date one again.
Now these two things may not sit right with you Sisfox, however they are MY "can't stands". Which Eric who started this thread asked for. You've already listed yours and no one's nitpicking at them. I'll thank you to back off now and simply agree to disagree.
I just find this particular deal breaker a bit odd - expecting an SO to NOT relate with 50%+ of the population?
To begin with, I don't know ANYONE who doesn't have friends of the opposite sex. And I think it's horribly immature to have a "them or me" attitude. If I thought a guy I was dating had toxic friends of EITHER gender and he wasn't willing to give them up, that's one thing. But to flat out state "no female friends" is downright silly and unrealistic, IMO.
LOL - feel free to nitpick at my list.
That one item just jumped out at me as particularly odd and unreasonable.
Just curious about 2 other factors on your list...
"no kids and not sure if he wants any"
Okay, the no kids part I totally understand.
Ok well then perhaps I'll dive a bit deeper for your sake Sisfox.
He can have female friends, but once we become serious, I take presidence over them in every way. And they are all informed that basically they will not be coming in between our relationship no matter what.
BTW Sis--the only thing I see wrong with your list is that it's not nearly long enough! ;-) I guess you're just not that picky.
ETA for Phoenixmama:
I say I prefer if he's not sure if he wants kids because I'M not sure either. I think it would be best if we figured it out together either way.
As for the depression, no one ever died from depression (barring them killing themselves), whereas you can die from diabetes even with treatment, so it's not technically the same thing. One of my lovely ex's was most surely a clinically depressed person, but never thought there was anything wrong with him; it was everyone else's problem. Now, IF the guy was on meds? Hmmm...depends on how into him I was before I found out, because there's always a chance of him going off his meds for whatever reason and then a mess is inevitable after that.
Edited 4/25/2005 2:54 pm ET ET by goobersmooches
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