What are women really looking for?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
What are women really looking for?
82
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 4:14pm

I would love a female perspective here. What do you all (I could've said "yall" but I refrained) look for in a man?

I know this is a very general question, but I want you to be specific.

Imagine that through the marvel of modern technology there was such a thing as a "Man Store". You could go in and custom order your perfect guy. A week later, your new man would be ready for pickup (or delivery if you so choose). He of course would be madly in love with you. :-) What physical characteristics would you choose? Would you want him to look just like Adrian Paul? (lol, just kidding). Be shallow if you want. If you want him to have 6-pack abs, say so. What about personality? When you were ordering your man, any detail that you left out would be automatically chosen. So, if you did not specify a hair color it could be whatever.

Look forward to reading your responses.

Eric

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 4:54pm
71 replies and still going strong.
I just had to add my $.02.
My perfect guy:
A very strong Scottish accent, between 32 and 38 years old, 5'11", green eyes, short dark hair, medium build, tone and not fat. The "package" also has to be good size and thickness :)
He has to enjoy reading books, must love movies (especially fantasy and sci fi)
and celtic bands and 80's music.
He must enjoy traveling, cooking and being spontaneous. He must respect my opinions, listen to almost everything I say whether he agrees with it or not. He can put up a good fight but know when to admit he's wrong. He can be swayed by a good argument but knows when to kiss and make up.
He has to be a good worker but not dedicated to his job that he works more than the normal 40 hours a week. I want lots of attention. He musn't ogle other women in front of me, drink more than a few drinks once in a while and isn't a huge sports finatic. Some sports are good though. He must dress well but know how to dress down in jeans and a nice shirt. He must think sneakers are only for lounging or running and not an every day staple of wardrobe.
He would love my cooking and could cook for me too. He wouldn't be afriad to sing a tune in the car in front of me or to dress up for a Renaissance Festival. He'd enjoy camping and water. And be somewhat technically savvy. I want him to be my equal in wit and intelligence and enjoy spending time just talking (especially after sex).
He'd be gentle and expressive in bed one time and strong and tenacious other times.
He'd be romantic and surprise me with little gifts just because. He'd keep me from spending all of our money on frivolous things but give in when I erally need a purchase pick me up.
So, if this man exists send him my way will you??
Annie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 5:56pm
women look for a man who will listen and try to understand and look at the entire picture.
someone who will provide for there every need and do things that the women want to do as well as what he wants to do. someone who will treat her with kindness and respect. someone who is faithful and will to take her out and enjoy being with her.someone who is not affraid of being himself in every situation even in the bedroom. I look for a man who is honest with himself and honest with me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 7:19pm

Here's a joke that illustrates what women are really looking for:

> King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So the monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.
>
Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
>

The question: "What do women really want?"

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
>

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
>
Many people advised him to consult the old witch - only she would know the answer. The price would be high; the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

Finally, the last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch.
>

She agreed to answer the question, but he had to accept her price first.
>

The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most notable of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
>
Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and hideous, only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises ...etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden. Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
>
He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
>
What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life.
>
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur total freedom.
>
What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made very uncomfortable. The fateful hour approached. Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him!
>
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him! The astounded Gawain asked what had happened.
>
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half the time, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.
>
Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night?
>
What a cruel question! Gawain pondered his predicament. During the day, a
beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy
of his home, an old witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous
witch, but by night a beautiful woman with whom to
enjoy many intimate moments?
>
What would you do? (Pause awhile and do not read on
until you have made your own choice).
>
>
>
>
>
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.
>
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
>
What is the moral of this story?
>
The moral is: If a woman doesn't get her own way, things get real ugly!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 12:33am
Thank you so much! That was hilarious.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 12:33pm

Good topic - obviously with all the many, many responses - please see my posting also about what men are Really looking for......besides my monthly Jake: A Mans Opinion, courtesy of Glamour mag, I am as clueless about men as they are about women.

I would say that I have a "type" of man that I am looking for - but what use to "tickle my fancy" a year ago - now has me running for the hills!

There are "certain" Mandated Rules I have that a man MUST meet in order for me to even consider a "date" him - these mandations come from my own wrecklessly stupid experiences:
1) Must have a career oriented job (and I don't mean the one for the month or week)
* I have a career oriented job that I have been doing for eight (long) years.

2) Must go to church - and not just on the holidays
* I don't go EVERY Sunday, but I go more than just holidays usually a min. of 2x per month.

3) Must have a good relationship with family & speak respectfully to females
* How men treat there mothers, sisters, and other female members of the family / colleagues / women strangers shows me EXACTLY how they TRULY feel about women / female race in general. This to me is a MAJOR DEAL!!!

4) No druggie, heavy drinker or smoker - want someone that 94% of the time takes care of themselves (everyone needs those M&M days!)
* I don't smoke, I like my occassional glass of wine (don't get me wrong) but I know when to say when, and I have NEVER done drugs. I like to be outdoors walking my neighborhood, riding my bike, doing Pilates, etc. I also eat (pretty) healthy - so I would really like someone that is (somewhat) on the same page with me - especially the walking part since it is so good for your body & really reduces stress - great way to talk things out when the rift is in the water!

5) No pokey boys - Can not under ANY circumstances date anyone that has a felony / misdemeanor past.
* We have all had our moving violations / warnings (had one this morning - thanks) but someone with any sort of "record" is a "no can do"! I have NEVER been in ANY trouble - so this is a no-brainer for me.

6) No infactuated nim-wad of pornography is welcomed in my world.
* This to me is another no-brainer.

Personality: I am such a goofball - my sister says I am a cross between Debra Messing on Will & Grace & Kelly Ripa from Hope & Faith that someone that is sarcastic and funny is welcomed. I would like someone that is down to earth, knows a little about politics and world issues, outgoing (I'm a hyperbird even without the coffee), someone that knows when to be serious but also knows that the only way to get through life is to laugh from the pit of there stomach.

Looks: I am not going to lie - looks are important - you have to have that "oomph desire", that sexual chemistry, the tingle in your fingers when you see them. I am not big on the "height issue", weight - of course this is of (some) importance (see the healthy mandation above), hair color & eye color is of no importance (though I "usually" like dark hair, dark eyes & complected men since I am a brunette w/ brown eyes & an olive complection).
Honestly I would like to meet someone that just has a good heart & soul - the rest will fall into place!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 4:59pm

I normally don't post here but here you go:

I want a man, not a little boy
I want someone who is taller than me
Hair style or color doesn't matter as long as it looks good on him
Muscular, slender or slightly stock, but no gut
No one old enough to be my dad
Confident in himself that he doesn't need 5 women talking to him at the same time to feel secure in himself
Creative/Artistic in some way
Gearhead preferable
Bikers always welcome
No big drinkers or smokers
Must have a job and be responsible with money
I want a man who will make dinner for me and when I get home sneek back to light some candles and after a small appetizer, lead me to his bed and maw and paw at me.
I want a man who has the equipment for the job and knows how to use it
I want a kind man who will help another person in need
I want someone intelligent enough to kid back and forth with during conversation
Someone I don't have to tell, by the way I don't share bed partners
Someone who likes me for me and I can be myself with
A man's man, not a bad boy, but a strong personality who has opinions and can share them
A man who will have my back anytime anyplace that I can also have his back anytime anyplace
Someone who will stick up for me and make me feel protected
A man not afraid of a woman who knows what she wants in life and can fix a car/motorcycle, ride a horse, run a construction company and take care of a baby.
Oh, and someone who knows a drop dead gorgouse woman isn't 120lbs and 5'9". If I were that small I'd be a stick(and topheavy, but that's a whole other issue).

That helpful to ya Eric?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2005
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 6:34pm

Physical Characteristics:

First off, I want to say that personality is 500 times more important to me than what a person looks like, but if I am ordering a guy from the MAN STORE and I could pick and choose what he would look like, here goes:

1) Taller than me, but not over 6 feet. (I am 5'5 and dont want the guy to tower over me)

2) Dark hair, dark eyes

3) Sexy lips ( not overly full, but well shaped )

4) Somewhat Olive complexion ( I am Italian and like that slightly darker complexion )

5) Big Chest ( doesnt have to be rock hard or have perfect pecs, but must be big )

7) Wide Back

8) Strong Arms

9) STOCKY guy.. hes gotta have some meat on those bones.

10) NO SIX PACK!!! I prefer a man with a little padding around the middle

12) A tattoo, maybe even more than one, but nothing overly large and it would have to be tasteful. ( ex: Naked lady = not tasteful / chinese dragon = tasteful )

13) Absoloutley fabulous in bed

14) High sex drive, but because he wants ME, not just because hes generally horny

PERSONALITY:

1) Great sense of humor
2) Hard working
3) Trustworthy
4) Honest
5) Loyal
6) Into Monogamy
7) Not afraid of Committment
8) Loves animals
9) Not afraid to show emotion / express feelings
10) Good Cook
12) Easy Going, flexible, "go with the flow" type of guy
13) Sensitive to my needs
14) Not afraid to say hes sorry
15) Dependable: the kind of guy who will be there for the good times AND the bad
16) Confident
17) Secure
18) Thinks women with perfect bodies are over-rated

And, if I could add one last thing on top of this perfect man, it would be that he thinks I am the greatest thing since sliced bread!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Thu, 05-12-2005 - 1:00am

ok

physical

Brad Pitt or Ben Affleck type

seriously tho -
Blue eyes
Dark Hair
Taller than me ( i am 5'3")
but not too tall. I am good w/ 5'10 5'11
Not too thin. Average weight a bit over 5-10lbs ok to . I like the protective feeling
Muscles is good, big arms to hold me with.

Someone that is well educated and very smart, successful in what he does, Mature, Honest and compassionate. Sensitive to others feelings. Can talk about anything and isn't afraid to let his guard down and be vulnerable. Someone that is good w/ working on things. Likes a good debate and accepts me for me and our differences of opinions . Sense of humor can be silly/sarcastic. , well dressed but able to relax in a old pair of jeans and tight tshirt.. Organized. Good w/ his finances. Romantic. Spontaneous at times since I am not all the time and need that balance. Someone can remember me through out his day and call me just to say hi. He will call me at night just to say hi Loves to hold hands, hug, and be affectionate when we are together. But yet a very strong man, he has a spine will stand up for himself and others. Doesn't back down but knows what battles to pick.

A great lover, passionate, loves to have sex w/ me and be more the assertive one, is a huge turn on.
tells me I am beautiful every now and then. adores me
LIkes to cook, travel alot, and will make a plan to whisk me away for a weekend. send me flowers, occasional cards,love notes. likes to live in a nice house, w/ a nice pool near the beach.. (ok dreaming here.............)

Family man and enjoys carrying a conversation w/me, attentive and likes attention as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Thu, 05-12-2005 - 4:12pm

I think this is turning into the OLD Version of the "little thread that could".

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Thu, 05-12-2005 - 7:03pm

Thanks to everyone for all the great responses so far! I've read every single one of them.

applesherrill wrote:
<< So if i am being too nosey you can tell me but why are you so interested?
And what do you look for in a girl?
Look forward to your response! Have a blessed day! >>

Well, since women tend to outnumber men by quite a margin on ivillage, what better place to find out "what women want"? In the time that I have posted on this board, I have learned so much about the female perspective on guys, dating, and many other issues. Since I'm a single guy and I'm looking for a relationship, it makes sense to understand what you gals are looking for.

As for what I'm looking for - check out the other thread about "what are men looking for".

Eric

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