What are your 'red flags'?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
What are your 'red flags'?
23
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 10:54pm

So everyone has some type of 'red flag's'? (something that others may not find attractive).

What are some of yours?

For me, I'd say the big ones are:
-I dont' like to stay up really late at night (even on weekends I'd prefer to be in bed by 10 or 11)
-I'm not much of a partier at all, more of a homebody
-I'm really strict with my diet/workouts (working on finding a better balance though)
-I'm not into camping AT ALL (seems like every guy on those sites is! argh)
-I'm a picky eat (going back to the strict diet thing).

Just curious what other people's are.

And, do you think it'd be wise to maybe state some of these in an online profile? (not in a warning type of way, just so that you can weed out people who wouldn't be a good match if they really clashed with you on these things).

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 11:02pm

Hmm, I don't see the things you list as "red flags". To me, red flags are signs that indicate that the person might not be emotionally healthy, might be dishonest, things like that.

What you're talking about are more compatibility issues. And yes, I think mentioning those types of things in a positive way in your profile is a good idea.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 11:15pm

Thanks for your reply. I guess I just feel a lot of those things I listed would be a bit turn-off to a guy in my age range (23-27). It seems like more of them enjoy going out to bars, going with large groups of friends to parties, camping, etc. I think sometimes I'd do better with dating if I was 40 or 50! :)

What would be a good way to state that I'm more of a morning person and don't like to be out late? This is always an issue I run into with dating, since I don't want them to think I'm cutting the date short due to having a bad time, just that by 11 or so, I want to pass out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 11:18pm

1. He mentions sex too much (joking is one thing...)

2. Shirtless/flexing shots

3. Fireman (that will change the day I meet one without a big ego)

4. Someone who "presumes" it's okay to touch or kiss me on the first date.

5. Braggarts

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 11:19pm

I don't think of them as red flags, b/c I think I am pretty noromal and am myself; I LOVE to have fun, stay up late (r) on the weekends and hate cooking. I usually always am the first to kiss a guy, am independent, successful, silly. I like those things. I also refuse to date anyone who doesn't want to get married or have kids. That's just me.

Not so much "red flags," per se, just my personality.

I think it's OK to state the kind of things you don't like, just as preferences, and not as things you "hate," just b/c that word can come off as kind of inflexible and severe.
I am with you on the freaking camping, though. My kind of camping is at the Hilton, lol.

Good Luck : )

Gal Blondie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 12:38am

I dont do the camping thing either - ICK!


My turn offs are pretty much cockiness, & i HATE when they say they "like to cuddle". *gag*

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 12:56am

Yah, camping is me in one of those high-tech trailers! :)

By red flags though I was more meaning you're own red flags, like if we are in fact aware of the things about us that may potentially turn of another person. But those are definitely some good ones for men... my big one with men is if they post pictures of them drinking (not a classy shot, but basically them getting hammered). Why would you post such a thing in a profile? I don't understand the reasoning some of them use...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 10:58am
I am so far from an expert on these issues that I'm only going on my very first OLD date this evening! But in response to your original question about how to communicate these important preferences of yours in a profile, I would think that stating them with a positive spin can go a long way. Something like 'I'm a high-energy morning person who loves to stay fit and eat healthily and am looking for someone who also values these things.'
Just an idea....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 2:27pm

1.Men that are self-centered and can only talk about themselves and not interested in me.

2. Men who are not supportive during rough times. Ones that withdraw and refuse to communicate.

3. Irresponsible with their money

4. Too frugal and has an aversion to treating me to things.

5. Any man who shows consistent anger towards friends, family, waiters/waitresses.

5. Men who are self-proclaimed "commitment phobes" or have a history of short-lived relationships for years and years with no valid explaination of why all of them ended except that the spark wore off.

Wow, now that I read that I kind of sound like a hard a** but these are the things I've learned about what I want from my past relationships.




Edited 3/27/2007 2:54 pm ET by biochic2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 5:42pm

I know this wasn't the intent of this post, but I totally agree about men who say the like to cuddle, ick. I mean, I do like to do it, and I cuddle with my bf often, but it still gags me to see that written in a man's profile.

I also agree on the camping... never mind that I went twice with my bf last year and will probably have to go twice this year as well. Ugh. Why do men think that it is so fun to go without bathing for 4 days? Gross.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 6:28pm

LOVE the list you posted.

I agree with all your points, and I'll even add some...

1) Men who force affection (not in a rapist kind of way, but men who pout if you aren't holding their hand, sitting right next to them, etc. constantly--I dated a guy like that for 2 weeks. I bet these are the same guys that like to "cuddle."

2) Men who aren't secure enough to accept that I have guy friends, a busy career and a life outside of them.

3) On the other end of the spectrum, guys who have no time for you, b/c they are creating "art" or partying, playing shows.

4) WIthdrawers really piss me off b/c if I am hurt enough to bring something up (which is hard for me b/c I don't like to whine or complain), then I'd like some feedback, a response, validation for my efforts. Not some wussy who runs away when there is something that needs to be dealt with.

5)Metrosexual men. Yuck to that.

Gal Blondie

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