What to do?????
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What to do?????
| Thu, 09-15-2005 - 11:14pm |
I recently met a guy on match. He seems nice and our personalities and sense of humor seem like they could be compatible. However, he doesn't have a picture posted. I asked him to send me one and he did. I know this is going to sound terrible but I'm just not attracted to his picture. He's not ugly - just not my type. So now what am I going to do? I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings. I can't email back and tell him that I didn't like his picture! The only thing I can think of to do is to ghost. I've never done that before and feel like it would be mean but I can't think of what else to do. Any suggestions??

I try not to put too much stock in any "type" at this point in the game. I've found it really benefical to go through with a meet if communication gets beyond the first few emails and there's a genuine interest there. I put no expectations of a romantic connection and have the meeting be the goal.
My first OLD date was with a guy who emailed me. I was NOT impressed with his photos at all. He looked nerdy and my type has always been more rough around the edges (well, all over for that matter LOL), but there were enough similarities and qualities in his profile that I figured "Just have a cup of coffee with the guy and see what happens". We met for coffee and he was actually better looking than his photos, though still nerdy;) We had a great conversation which led to a couple of months of dating. Ultimately we just weren't a match. But to this day that man tops my list of "The Best Kisser". Never woulda thought that in a million years by looking at him.
Give it a shot. What have you got to lose but an hour and a half of your time. Besides every meet, no matter what the outcome, serves a greater purpose. The more times you do it the better you get at it.
Chele
Unfortunately, it's happened to most of us.
This something that a lot of us deal with...the struggle to open yourself to the possibilities and go against "type".
That being said, if right now you can't even imagine yourself sitting across a table and talking to the guy 'cuz he's such a turn-off then just ghost.
OK! hehehe...I totally get where you're coming from because I'm struggling with the EXACT same thing. I'm 45. I get a lot of winks and emails from guys in their 50's and a few in their 60's. My 2 OLD relationships were with guys who were 38. Great fun but both committment-phobes. Problem being that I'm a bit of a committment-phobe myself, I guess. LOL. Both relationships ended just shy of 2 months.
So I ask myself if the guys in their late 40's early 50's may be more ready to commit, you know...not looking for the next best thing. I don't know because I've never dated anyone that age before. I see their pictures and they just look old and I'm afraid that being with someone like that will make me feel or appear old and I having a hard time coming to grips with that. I am old. sheesh!
Anyway, I'm with you there Debbie. Have coffee with him and just look to meet someone nice.
Good Luck,
Chele