what do u think about this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
what do u think about this?
2
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 10:33am
There's a guy from eharmony Ive been talking with for the last month. We emailed back and forth a couple times then chatted in an instant messenger. Then we moved to phone calls pretty quickly. What Im confused about is... our first phone call was great, we clicked so well. It was 2.5 hour conversation (much longer than most of my initial convos with guys). Then, he just dropped off the face of the planet for over a week. He IMed me and then he called me. Then we had another great convo for 2 hours. That was a week ago now. He sends me random emails, but I am just wondering why he isnt calling me more often. So, here's the thing, he has asked to meet me twice with no notice. Last weekend at the last minute he said he just happened to have 2 tickets to a game and wanted to know if I would go. I had to work late and I explained what my schedule is like on that day. THEN he did it again yesterday, at the last minute he asked if i would go see phantom of the opera with him tomorrow night which is the exact same night i explained how my schedule wouldnt work to go to events that evening (i get off work too late). He also said how he just happened to have tickets. I kinda feel like he's not listening to me when i say that night isnt good for events. on top of that what's with the last minute planning like im just an afterthought. It feels more friend-like. YOud think he'd want to coordinate something WITH ME for our first meeting and not just throw stuff at me like this. Do you know what I mean??? For a first date, it would be good to TOGETHER decide a good thing to go do together. If this is the way he conducts his relationships, then I dont want it...LOL. Am I being unreasonable? Does anyone understand my point of view!? We clicked so well in the convos but I don't know, something just tells me to pass this guy up and move on. Am I just making excuses... I really don't know. Perhaps he's very very traditional and he thinks I dont get say in what we do...lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 11:15am

Personally I think he is running out of dates, and called you last minute. No offense on your part, I think you are totally right on with all of your feelings. The guy isn't listening, and frankly I don't think he cares enough to remember your schedule. Also, calling you last minute screams inconsideration, and bad manners. I would next him. Something smells funny with this situation...All of the re-appearances, and ghosting is just to odd for me.

Next him, don't waste your time..

Lisa

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Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 11:21am

Ugh, if he was 'very very traditional' he'd give you the courtesy of several days notice!! How annoying.


Sounds like he wants things to happen when it's convenient for him and wants someone who is just going to be "available" to jump when he says so. Once, maybe a fluke. Twice, outright disrespectful.


Besides, a "first-meet" or date or whatever you want to call it, should be in a setting where you can have a conversation. Going to a game or a show does not qualify.


I don't know, it's your call whether you want to skip him now, or wait for the third strike.


It's better to keep phone calls & IM's short, it creates that false sense of connection that can make someone treat you more like a "buddy" than a date.