What do you think
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| Fri, 12-15-2006 - 12:34pm |
What do you think about a guy whose online profile says "40, single, never married, no kids" but who admits, during the first phone conversation (after being asked whether he's been married before), that yes, he's been married; he just didn't want to say that in his profile. He goes on to say during that first conversation that he has two stepdaughters from that marriage (6 and 17) and that he's close to both, especially the younger one, who calls him "Daddy," although she (and the older one) know that he's not their real father and both know who their real father is. It becomes apparent that the 6-year-old calls him practically every day to report on little details of her life, and that he dotes on her (sends her books and presents regularly). I thought it was so sweet that he'd be so close to her.
After a couple of months and additional phone conversations (no face-to-face meeting yet, I kept putting it off), he says that he's gone to visit the 6-year old SD to take her Christmas shopping and "meet her teacher." They spend the weekend in a hotel, and when asked if her mother (his ex-wife) has a problem with him taking the 6-year-old SD for the entire weekend, he replies, "No, why should she?" and then admits that the 6-year-old "has his last name" (although he says he never adopted her) and "she does not know who her real father is" (a contradiction from before). It just seems to me that either he has an inappropriate relationship with his SD or she is his biological daughter and he LIED about it. I've ended things -- too many questions early on (not counting the fact that although he said he likes to go to the casino but "never" gambles more than $200, he recently admitted he'd just gambled $600 to win another $700). I don't expect anyone to give their life story and personal information too soon, but blatant lies, especially about having children or being married before, seem to be cause for concern. Any thoughts?
Thank you!

I think you did the right thing by breaking off communication. I agree you don't need to know everything about the person and little exaggerations in the profile are ok but this is major lies. Trust and honesty are really important in establishing a relationship with someone. If they lie about stuff like this now I think it would be really hard to trust them in the long run. It does appear that this guy is hiding something and is not being upfront about his life.
Good Luck!
What would I think? Run from the liar!
I don't think his relationship with the SD is inappropriate even if he's only her former stepfather, but I do agree that he could indeed be her biological father. He's already lied about never being married, about "no children" (sorry, even step children you are very close to are "children"), his gambling... why wouldn't he lie about that too. RUN, RUN, RUN from this guy. NOW.