What do you think of this response...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
What do you think of this response...
14
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 8:52pm
that I received today in my Yahoo profile mailbox (warning long). This man does not have a profile up and just signed his name and email addy. Would any one respond? What are your thoughts? Married? Thanks.

Summer

>>>>Have you ever wondered if your MR. RIGHT will ever show up… or if he even exists?

I wrote this for you…To you. But please, do us both a favor, don't read this unless you can honestly say that you too are looking for the love of your life.

Yes, I have sent this ‘from-my-heart’ letter to a few, select other women that I hoped were are as special as you seem to be. BUT the reality is - this letter is meant for one and only one woman. If you are the person I wrote this for, you will know it as you read this. If not, stop reading the instant you discover this message is not about you, to you or describes you…

It's hard to talk about yourself in this format, so I asked some of my “girl” friends what they thought I should tell you. What they said made me feel really good, "Allen, sometimes you surprise us. You are the most confident, self-assured person we know and now you come to us with a question only a teenage schoolboy would ask. We would tell her you are kind and gentle...the kind of gentleness that only strong men possess. You have a very sexy way about you, you know how to treat a woman so special and you make life exciting and fun, just being around you.” What else can I say to that but... Thank God for great friends!

If I were to ask you what you think is the perfect man for you at this exact time in your life, what kind of images would flash through your mind: maybe what you care about is looks, maybe money, maybe sex or freedom, father figure, security, maybe a great listener. Ask yourself what is it you find attractive and important, right now? As you ponder that, here is a little something about me, see if I fit into your impression of the ideal man…

Ah, but first let me point out something… You, like me, are searching the internet… Why should we be dancing on the keyboard when we could be happy together? You, like me, can't deny you are looking for just the right person to make your life whole and give it eternal meaning.

If you agree, I may be the man you've always dreamed of…

A little about me… I'm an entrepreneur who worked hard to become financially independent. I won't waste your time or anyone else's. I am very kind but up front too. I know what I want in life and I'm very sincere in my search.

I'm tall, dark, handsome, self-confident, caring, intelligent (three degrees), adventurous, passionate, great sense of humor, enjoy traveling, sporting events and goal oriented. A man of integrity. I'm very affectionate, a good communicator, dynamic, charming, generous, and a risk taker. And I know that I am blessed.

My baggage could fit into a thimble. I don't want a “let's be friends first” relationship. I am looking for someone to love and I am ready to get started, but that person must have their act together: No druggies, no drunks, no smokers, no emotional roller coaster rides, and no weak or wimpy types that don't think they are good enough for me. Although I have no children of my own, I absolutely adore children and definitely open to becoming part of, or creating, a family.

I'm emotionally and physically available. I've made my mind up: I'm going to find one exceptional woman to shower with love and affection, to hold, squeeze, kiss and caress, to communicate with, share thoughts and feelings with, to be active with. I enjoy a variety of activities, but most of all I would like someone special to do things with.

I'm going to find a woman who has confidence in herself, is truthful, assertive, considerate, loves to laugh and have fun. A woman who is done wasting time with “men” that do not appreciate her, refuse to grow up, or do not understand a woman’s worth. The woman I'm going to find has always known that I've been out there looking for her but haven't found her... until now.

I want a woman whom I find attractive, not Cosmo magazine. I want to look at you and wonder how I could be so lucky as to find someone so sexy. I'm going to find a special woman I can't wait to come home to, take places, share ideas with, learn from, grow with and most of all will be my best and dearest friend. She must be able to accept gifts and compliments.

If you… and yes I do mean YOU… are this special woman please send me a message now. In any moment a decision you make can change the course of your life forever... the very next email you send or receive could be the one single thing that causes the floodgates to open, and all of the things that you've been waiting for to fall into place.

Are you thinking to yourself, "This guy is too good to be real," or "This guy sounds like he thinks a lot of himself?" If so, you might be right. You know what is wrong with big corporations, schooling and the world in general today? We are taught to focus on our weaknesses. Focusing on your weaknesses creates self-skepticism and self doubt. Instead, we need to discover our strengths and work as teams with others who fulfill our weaknesses. When you focus on your talents, you excel at whatever it is you do and your self-confidence skyrockets. Maybe I am supremely self-confident and to me that is good. Yes, I do have some weaknesses, and that is exactly why men and women need each other… to compliment each other and fulfill each other's soft spots. You see, I know I need the right person as well as yearn for her. Are you her?

Warm Regards>>>>

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 9:22pm
Hi Summer

It doesn't sound like he's married; however, it does sound suspicious.

1. This, by his own admission, is a form letter. **<>** Who is to say how many women are "a few?" If he really was interested in YOU, he would have written something that refers to YOU. Most "normal" men would mention something in your profile that caught their eye and piqued their interest in you.

2. Then we have the "girl" friends' testimonials **<> PULEEZ!! This sounds like something out of a novel. Is he quoting these women verbatim?

3. Reading the list of criteria a woman must possess the man sounds like he's out shopping for a new toy. I'm willing to bet that no woman could ever be quite good enough for him.

4. The man has sooo many great qualities. Great catch, huh? **<> He's either lying or an egomaniac. IMO "supreme self-confidence" is another way of saying "supreme arrogance."

jhoover21

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 10:14pm
EEEEWWW! I would DEFINITELY not respond. I suppose he could be married - wouldn't have occurred to me, but maybe I'm just naive - but married or not, that email totally gives me the creeps. I get a really controlling vibe off of him - I think b/c of the "don't read this unless you can honestly say that you too are looking for the love of your life," etc. - sounds like a bad infomercial.

I'm guessing he has sent this to dozens, possibly hundreds, of women. I doubt he is after a relationship, more likely just looking for sex. The fact that he even mentions sex, in an email to a woman he doesn't know, suggests to me that he is not terribly respectful of women and is not looking for something serious. If you were to write back and show interest in getting to know him as a person, I somehow doubt he would respond. I think he's just looking for some insecure women to have a little fun with.

Ick!

ginger

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 12:43am
Uh yeah...lol...he sounds like he's putting out an ad for a car or something. I wouldn't right back. It's just too self absorbed for my liking. Like he brags about the three degrees...three degrees in what? I know a guy with a physics degree and he's working at a casino! Nope, I'd throw this one back in the pool. Especially if it was just a first time thing.

M.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:57am
HI summer, i would definitely not respond to that, the mail is so impersonal. He already layed his cards out, selling himself and giving all his "good qualities". Betcha he has sent that to thousand of girls and only just waiting for a girl whom he can make fool of. Watch out!! he maybe a 'serial online killer'..oooh creepy...

~~Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 11:45am
Well.....it sort of depends on if you like that kinda of stuff! lol Personally, I think he is trying way to hard here. He is really trying to charm you and sounding like a complete idiot. lol It is sweet, but that is way to much too soon, if you know what I mean. giggles. He is cute though and it is a nice email, but its too much too soon. Thats just me though.

gail:)


P.S. I would send an email back asking, "Does this approach really work for you?" lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 12:51pm
Yes, supreme arrogance is what came across to me too! I get a lot of form or c & p replies, but this one seemed over the top to me. I wonder why he didn't post a profile and picture being such a great catch, ya know? LMAO...Next!

summer

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 12:56pm
I agree, there are control issues (I think insecurity masked in narcassicism could be at play with him.) Thanks for your opinion. It is a huge turn off mentioning sex in a profile or response right away for me too. It did give me the creeps. I'm not responding to this one at all.

summer

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 12:59pm
As if 3 degrees makes him somehow more desirable...ugh! I don't think it has helped him so far...haha. Thanks.

summer

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:07pm
Yeah, the sent from his heart and meant just for *you* verbage has RED FLAG written all over it. Honestly, a psychologist could review that letter and come up with all sorts of neurosis. Lots of sickos.

summer

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:09pm
Hi summer,

Your comment about not posting a profile just reminded me of an email I got recently - this guy writes to me and says he had to take down his profile b/c the ladies find him irresistible and he was getting too many responses! (and he was NOT all that :-). Needless to say, I quickly hit 'delete' . . .

ginger

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