What Does Anyone Think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
What Does Anyone Think?
8
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 9:35pm
I met a guy for a lunch date today. We'd been messaging and talking on the phone for a couple of weeks. He was very nice, concerned about my allergies (I almost cancelled the meet at the last minute), attentive, etc., during the meet. When we said good-bye, he said we'd have to continue chatting. I didn't see any obvious red flags, unless one counts staring and smiling a lot. He told me I was really cute. At any rate, to explain more, when we were walking-out, he put his arm around me. Then when we said good-bye, he hugged me and pinched my flesh on my hip bone. I'm pretty sure he was feeling my fat content. lol Then he was holding my hand, almost cheek to cheek, saying something about his car, trying to make me feel better about mine. He even kissed my hand! lol At first, I wasn't too taken aback by all this, but in retrospect, it seems like a bit much for a first meet. Even if he's the most affectionate man in the world, it still seems a little overboard to me. I didn't really suspect him of being a "player" but if he was one, he certainly seemed to have the game down pat. I'm kind of "immune" to people emotionally when I first meet them so it didn't phase me too much. However, I got to thinking maybe I should ask other's perceptions because I might be missing something. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 9:43pm
He pinched the flesh on your hip bone?!?!?!!?!?
heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 9:46pm
I agree, that sounds kind of sleazy and disrespectful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 9:58pm
Agree! I would have been like WTF? Weirdo!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 10:01pm

I think if that had been me, I would've felt as though that was a bit too touchy-feely for a first meet. That's just me though. I generally don't want much physical contact initially, and it would strike me as being a bit presumptuous on his part to assume it's okay, even if things did appear to go splendidly.

Flirting, eye contact, smiling- great. If I'm interested, I'll likely go in for a hug as we're saying goodbye, but that's about it. Don't be touching my hips or whispering in my ear pal! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 10:35pm

I tend to agree with happyjustme, my feelings exactly.

Well, it definitely got off to on an interesting start but don't give the guy the boot just yet. Feel it out and go out with him one or two more times and see how his behavior is...if he really comes on strong or gets even more touchy-feely you'll definitely know if he's just looking to get you in bed. People are funny--don't read too much into it. If he does something way out of line, you'll know it.

Keep us posted on this--this is interesting!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2004
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 9:00am

I'm with happyjustme.

I don't like touchy stuffs on the first few dates. A hug is all I can do.

Pinching, whispering etc....is a bit creepy for me.

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 2:16pm
I don't think I want to see him again. He pinched the flesh on my upper hip bone,not hard, but it was pretty forward. I think he assumed a lot also. When I put that he had player moves I meant to write lol also. I agree it was all a little creepy. Although if I'd been really lonely or horny (lol) I can see how he might get women into bed pretty easily. It seems that people who are just in it for sex can get it with different approaches. I wouldn't normally suspect him because he was kind of dorky, but maybe that's his game. Ah well, next!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 9:15pm
Up-date. Well, the guy didn't call so I think my instincts were right. It's so insulting when a guy is just look for a piece of... I didn't want to sound critical of him before but I forgot to add that he leaned back into my van before he opened his arms for a "hug", like he expected me to make-out with him or something. I just backed-away. He acted like he was a Christian and all that. It just goes to show that you don't know someone 'til you know them.