What does your pefect match look like?
Find a Conversation
What does your pefect match look like?
| Mon, 04-11-2005 - 6:05am |
The title say's in all - except I don't mean just "looks" - what characteristics will your perfect Match have?
-height- taller or shorter --- by how much, or doesn't it matter
-interests- what types of things do they like to do - and how often
-frequency of contact- how often do you talk/email during the week, how often do you date, how soon do you talk about being exclusive
-what other attributes do they have which are "musts"
-what are dealbreakers that automatically bring out the ghost or "no thank you" behavior in you? Are there different dealbreakers before you meet (email stage) than after you meet (seen them in person).
-rate the importance of their different characteristics:
example:
1. height
2. job
3. likes same movies
4. looks
5. incom

Pages
I'll play!
-height- at least a half inch taller
-interests- go out at least once a week for a date, like dinner or dancing, or something romantic - or even better, touring the city, or hiking!
-how often do you talk/email during the week - I prefer an email every day - talking would be nice at least every other day or more to start - even if just to say hi.
how often do you date - at least once a week to start out.
how soon do you talk about being exclusive - I think that for me, I won't want to have that "talk" per se, but would rather it just happen naturally. It may be an immediate thing, or take longer.... and I'm not going to base exclusivity from my end on mutual exclusivity.... IOW, I may be exclusive with someone, and he may not be yet.... so no need for him to know I feel that way. JMHO.
-what other attributes do they have which are "musts" - No smoking is an absolute must for me.
-what are dealbreakers that automatically bring out the ghost or "no thank you" behavior in you? Someone who is uncaring - someone who puts me down, and picks on the little things - especially in me, someone who is weak and wishy washy.
Are there different dealbreakers before you meet (email stage) than after you meet (seen them in person). Not sure what you mean here..... I guess it's pretty consistent for me.
1. intelligence
2. niceness
3. at least somewhat attractive (sexual attraction too)
4. strength
5. his interest in me
Good exercise - dusted off those mental cobwebs.
WHERE ARE YOUR ANSWERS LG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????????????????????????????
-height- taller or shorter *** I usually am not attracted to men shorter than I am: 5'2" which leaves a lot of options. And in general, I think I am too short for men 4, 5 or more inches over six feet.
-interests- what types of things do they like to do - and how often *** What I look for here is a variety of interests and tend to avoid men who appear obsessive about one particular thing.
-frequency of contact-
talk/email: from a few times a week to most every day depending on the stage we are at. And what we've exchanged historically. If I get used to talking/emailing every day and then all of a sudden it's 3-4 days since I've heard from him then I start to wonder. I think that would be different later in the relationship but I haven't been there yet this time around with dating. If he's just involved in a project/out of town/spending time with family that's fine, I don't NEED to have contact each and every day. But like I said, if that's what we've been doing then I get used to it and it would be nice to know ahead of time if there is a time conflict. This got longer than I meant.
how often do you date: varies greatly
how soon do you talk about being exclusive: I don't have a time frame. I think it just depends on the situation and when it feels right.
-what other attributes do they have which are "musts" *** Just the ones that seem obvious - at least to me. No married men. Or separated. No addictions. No anger issues.
I have waffled on the children issue. Since I have young-ish children I used to think it was best for a guy to have children of his own. Because then he's more likely to understand the commitments and responsibilities that go along. But then his having children as well really adds to the change of conflicting commitments. So
-what are dealbreakers that automatically bring out the ghost or "no thank you" behavior in you?
email stage: I'm not the world's best speller myself (so please don't proof this post!), but I'm likely to ghost a TERRIBLE speller, or someone who can't be bothered with punctuation.
after we meet: Besides the "musts" above, finding out I've been lied to.
-rate the importance of their different characteristics:
example:
1. chemistry - within the first couple of dates
2. intelligence
3. honesty
4. niceness (yes, I borrowed some of these from city gal's list.)
5. income - I would prefer it to be somewhat similar to my own. I'm open to a range, but I think it's harder to be in a relationship with someone who earns significantly more or significantly less than I do.
5 1/2. age - Preferably within a few years younger or up to about 10 years older. Outside of that range would be iffy.
I'm not sure about the order of the first four because they are all important to me. But if they are clicking into place I would give a little on #5.
Now I need another cup of coffee. That was too much thinking this early in the morning.
-height- taller or shorter --- by how much, or doesn't it matter.
I'm only 5'1", so finding taller isn't a problem. I prefer men over 5'6" tall. For some reason the taller the sexier! Don't ask me why, I don't know.
-interests- what types of things do they like to do - and how often
I've been a *widow* many times before -- sports, music, career. It was a real drag. At this time in my life (46) I would prefer someone who has balance in his life. I mean, if he's still working 24/7 for his career at this age there's something wrong with him, IMHO. And no sports freaks!!
-frequency of contact- how often do you talk/email during the week, how often do you date, how soon do you talk about being exclusive
When I hear about people who make a quick call each day to say hi, I melt. I think that's very romantic. As for dating, during the week I live pretty quietly. I go for an hour's walk each evening after supper, but other than that I prefer to wait until the weekend for dating.
I figure if we've been dating for 2 or 3 months, we will know if we see any potential in a relationship. This is because I really prefer not to see more than one man at a time.
-what other attributes do they have which are "musts"
kindness, cheerfulness, gainfully employed.
-what are dealbreakers that automatically bring out the ghost or "no thank you" behavior in you? Are there different dealbreakers before you meet (email stage) than after you meet (seen them in person).
Before we meet -- any mention of sex, subtle or otherwise, and he's a gonner. Reluctance to meet -- buh-bye. Separated -- sayonara.
After we meet -- I take my time getting to know someone. I expect there to be faults, and am pretty easy going in general. BUT -- there are some faults that I consider serious character flaws: rudeness to people (especially waitstaff), any hint of prejudice, ogling other women in front of me.
-rate the importance of their different characteristics:
I've always had my top 15 characteristics I look for in a man. In no particular order:
1. Humour
2. Intelligence
3. Belief in Family
4. Kind
5. Loves what he does for a living
6. Believes in personal freedom
7. Has his own interests and friends
8. Likes to go out or stay at home, equally
9. Positive outlook
10. Has children/does not want more
11. Patient
12. Good natured
13. Wants a shared life
14. Loves animals
15. Open minded
Please take special note that nowhere in this post is there a mention of looks. True beauty shines through one's true character.
amjay
This looks interesting LG, so I'll partake in providing some feedback :)
Height:
Prefer that my perfect match be at minimum 4 to 5 inches taller than me and definately not over 6ft.
Interests:
First and foremostly, spending quality time with me, be it doing indoor or outdoor type of activities! (i.e. visiting museums, art shows, theatre productions, outdoor concerts and of course spending quiet, relaxing time at my parent's farm)
Frequency of Contact:
Ideally I think it would be nice to at least email 2 to 3 times during the course of a full week, definately would prefer phone over email though. And in terms of initially starting the dating process, I think that if you are talking by phone during the week, two people should get together to see each other definately once a week.
As for when to have the exclusivity talk, I would have to say after about 1 to 2 months and thats entirely contingent upon how often I have been seeing the guy on a weekly basis. And DEFINATELY no intimacy until the relationship has been determined to be exclusive and that there is a mutual agreement on wanting a LTR.
Attributes that are Must Haves:
No AODA issues or other compulsive behaviors like gambling etc.
Emotionally healthy & grounded
Honesty, strong sense of integrity ( and as my Dad would say " a man who posseses strong moral fiber" )
Dealbreakers:
A person that misrepresented themself and/or lied about the status of their true availability.
Being out of my desired age range !!!!!!!!!!
Talks about and or ruminates on thoughts about exwife or ex girlfriend.
Constantly bringing up sexual remarks in emails or direct conversations.
Rating Importance of Characteristics:
#1.> Attractiveness (Physically attractive to me)
#2.> Integrity/Honesty
#3.> Affectionate & Romantic
#4.> Has a healthy & balanced lifestyle
#5.> Being a warm-hearted gentleman ! (around me & around my family members)
Sidebar thought; This is probably why I've been single for so long and probably why I'm having very little success with OLD. I know what I'm searching for in the perfect match and I must say, he is very difficult to find out there. :(
However, relationship lessons that I have learned in my life thus far have taught me to not 'settle-for' or compromise my values & needs.
I've learned the hard way in life, that if you just "settle for someone" who takes an interest in you without looking at or taking all the other important elements into consideration, that you can never have a healthy relationship that will last. LM :)
-height- taller or shorter --- by how much, or doesn't it matter
I prefer taller. I'm 5'2" and most of the men I've dated have been between 5'6"-5'8". I am
I'd say honest and having integrity is my most
important thing. I also look for a genuinely
nice/kind person.
I've always just dated one person at a time, I think
maybe it attracts girls that do the same thing.
I've never actually had an exclusive talk.
I also think a lot to 'looks' is the the really good
personality shining out. The thing I find most
physically attractive is a deep south accent. Unless you
are just super obese, you're automatically attractive to me.
I definately choose a nice/honest chubby girl from AL or MS over any
hooters girl, any day. I guess I like braniacs too LOL
I prefer to email or talk on the phone every day. I prefer to
do stuff doing the week: anything from go to the movies, museum,
out to eat, ride bikes around etc.
Dealbreaking is lying and cutting your hair like a boy. Although
I probably wouldn't ask you out if your hair was like a boy anyway.
I'm 5 10, and prefer 5 5 or 5 6, but I dont hold that as a must have.
Chubby is not a problem at all, say up to 20 lbs over.
I'm 40, so I'm thinking 32 is the lowest, although 34-36 is better,
up to 40-41. Much over 40 all they want to do is plant flowers in
the yard LOL I still like to do stuff.
I don't find blondes that attractive even if you're slim.
I'd say for perfection: Claire Forlani with an alabama accent LOL
"Much over 40 all they want to do is plant flowers in the yard. I still like to do stuff."
Careful.... lots of us broads are over 40 on here.
I'm 42 -- I know I'll get around to planting flowers after I'm done with my full-time job, riding my bicycle 60 miles a week, serving on the board of the Humane Society (along with several event committees), trying to use my tickets to the Cleveland Indians and Browns, and spending time with my family of seven brothers and sisters and infinite nieces, nephews, uncles, etc.
Things must be quite different in the South for ladies over 40... I find your outlook particularly interesting since YOU are 40 yourself!
I should have said the ones I've met over 40, or even
near 40 here, their main hobby is planting flowers.
I certainly didn't mean it as a generalization :)
I admit, I'm 40 too LOL But I don't plant flowers lol
I still DO stuff. Maybe not every day....but I'm open to
the idea :)
In fact, I dislike that so much I burned my yard down LOL LOL LOL
(actually it was a welding accident, WHEW close call for the DIYer!)
Personally, I'm really into the "tomboy"/girl-next-door look on a girl, short hair (not really short, but a short style anyway), wears glasses (gives that look of intelligence)
-height- taller or shorter --- by how much, or doesn't it matter
Doesn't really matter, I suppose the same height or shorter, doesn't matter by how much.
-interests- what types of things do they like to do - and how often
Has to have a good sense of humor and like to laugh. Has to have a love of movies. Likes to share affection. I love to give backrubs, she would have to enjoy receiving them.
-frequency of contact- how often do you talk/email during the week, how often do you date, how soon do you talk about being exclusive
I'd say talk or email nightly. See each other a couple times a week and maybe a weekend day or night is fine with me. Sometimes being TOO much together can be a bad thing too at first. Relationships tend to burn out too fast if there is too much togetherness until you know each other better I think.
-what other attributes do they have which are "musts"
Honesty, affectionate, sense of humor that matches mine. Someone that "says what they mean, and means what they say"
-what are dealbreakers that automatically bring out the ghost or "no thank you" behavior in you? Are there different dealbreakers before you meet (email stage) than after you meet (seen them in person).
Giving me the cold shoulder, lying, being disinterested. Someone that is indecisive, I cannot stand that especially. Answering a celphone when we are on a first date. (unless children or something emergency-wise)
-rate the importance of their different characteristics:
example:
1. Like the same types of things
2. Similar Sense of humor
3. Intelligence
4. Looks/body type compatible with my own
5. Similar communication abilities.
-height-
5'9 - 6'2
-interests-
outdoors, outdoors, outdoors, active lifestyle, love of art, nature, culture.
-frequency of contact-
I would prefer to keep in contact every or every other day, if we like each other - date as much as possible and exclusivity will be a second nature. Yes, I am an idealist, part time delusional :)
-what other attributes do they have which are "musts"
Must be intelligent, empathetic, physically attractive, and somewhat complex.
-what are dealbreakers that automatically bring out the ghost or "no thank you" behavior in you?
Obvious indifference to my son, talk about how expensive things are early on, enquiring about how big my house is, any indication of disrespect.
-rate the importance of their different characteristics:
example:
1. age
2. Intelligence
3. looks/chemistry
4. emotional generosity
5. income
Pages