what a downer
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what a downer
| Sun, 01-09-2005 - 1:31pm |
I just received my first "thanks but no thanks" email from match. It said " received your wink and reviewed your profile and is not interested." In the subject line, it said "keep looking". Would anyone actually prefer getting an email like that to getting no reply?? I sure as hell wouldn't. It really bummed me out. If I get too many more of those, I'm canceling for sure.

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I agree!! I wrote about how horrible those were in my update yesterday. At first I thought they might be ok, but the way they've worded them is really awful.
I'm going to write to them and suggest that they offer a way to disable getting those emails. I would MUCH, much rather get no reply than that kick in the teeth!
Sheri
I know!!! Can you believe it? It must have been a guy who came up with the idea ;-)!!!
I just wrote them a very strong email suggesting that they either get rid of that feature or at a minimum enable people to opt out of receiving those emails. I'll let you know what I hear back, if anything!
Sheri
Boy, I sure can't blame you for feeling that way! I'd certainly be bummed out too. I'd hate to receive a reply like that.
Isn't there a nicer way of putting it? Sheesh. That subject line has got to go! (is that an auto generated one, by the way?)
>>Would anyone actually prefer getting an email like that to getting no reply??<<
Absolutely!
Getting that reply tells me that the woman I was writing to reviewed either my email and/or my profile, and that she is not interested in hearing from me again.
My ego is big/tough enough to accept that she doesn't want another email, wink, whatever. I appreciate knowing, because now I'm not going to waste my time (and hers) by writing another one in a few days.
Plus, I'm sure that if/when I write a second one, it'll annoy her- if she's said "no thanks" already, no problem, no more emails.
The email forwarding system that Match (and other sites) use is buggy enough, and email itself is buggy enough, that I never assume that someone got my email. You never know when the email might be sucked into the Giant Internet Email Vortex, to be deposited on some far-off planet.
Probably right next to all the socks that the dryer seems to eat. :)
Anyway, I'm still at a loss as to why these emails are seen to be so harsh, or why people's feelings are hurt by them so much.
At least the person you were writing to gave a s*** enough to say "no thank you". Better that than to be ignored completely.
Oh yeah, one last thing- hearing a woman complain about getting rejected makes me laugh. (It's a bitter laugh, full of irony, but a laugh.) Welcome to guys' world.
The sympathy you'll get from guys, over a woman getting those notes and feeling bad is, to be honest, extremely low.
Men deal with the whole "ask/rejection" deal our whole lives, starting about the time in junior high when we start having to be the ones to make that LOOONNNNGGGG lonely walk across the gym to the wall where all the girls are hanging out, all the way hoping that we're not denied and have to make the even LOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGER walk back.
We hope that it'll end someday, but you know what? Never does. Go watch people in a nightclub/bar sometime- the majority of the time it's still the men approaching the women.
Frankly, if we're going to date, and if we're going to make relationships with people, then we're going to get rejected. It's how it works. If it's a major downer, well, the whole dating/relationship thing is going to be pretty darned tough.
Nobody sells everyone. Nobody.
I still say that the way to approach it is if you aren't getting many "No'" -- then you're not using your online membership to the fullest.
Whether it's "NO THANKS.." or silence -- they both mean the EXACT same thing.
And, no, I do not think the Match system randomly discards emails. That's like the old fairy tale that you tell yourself when a pet doesn't come home one day.....you try to convince yourself that they ran off to live with other people. Please.
Keep at it and keep getting those rejections and email ghosts - - they mean you're using the service as it's intended.
Well, the match system *used* to eat emails, for sure. I had at least 3 documented cases of it a few years back (people forwarding me their "sent" mails that I never got. Now, I *suppose* all three could have doctored their sent emails so that it looked like they'd sent them at a specific date and time, but I really don't think that happened.) However, it seems that they have fixed that particular bug.
As for the other, yes, getting a "thanks but no thanks" email and silence are the exact same thing....I'd just much rather have the silence and *infer* rejection, rather than having it shoved in my face.
Sheri
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