What is going on here???
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| Wed, 09-28-2005 - 11:03pm |
OK guys...I need help here.
In a relationship with a divorced man three kids (22,not with him, a 16 year old boy living with Dad and a preteen girl that lives with mom.)We spend most of our free time together, either with family (his and mine) friends, etc..I like all his family and he likes mine. My daugbter 20 even likes him which is a miracle, she doesn't like a lot of folks.
WE have been togehter since Jan 2004..and gradually spent more and more time together. The summer his son went for a week to the beach with some of Rick's relatives. While there Rick asked if I wanted to stay the week..well I did. commuting to work (only a few miles) then asked me to move in. I have been in the process of doing that. My daughter is moving also.
Here's the problem: He had ( and still has ) an old profile on a dating site. No subscription but I know he still goes online and scouts about some (I know becuase a coworker spotted him (I have his photo on my desk)
We are joining a church, moving in together and basically I am treated like part of his family. So why is he "shopping???"
?????

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hmm ok, me playing devil's advocate here.
first you two have been together long enough and for him to be shopping around /or looking online something tells me there could be a deeper rooted issue here.
honestly ask yourself how this r'ship is ? and compares to healthy/loving r'ships?
I do believe men that were online/met us online in the beginning may still browse knowing you are too or if they are in the uncertainty stage. but you guys have been together a while not sure how you met him, and also discussed marriage.. looking online is not the same as looking at women outside in a bar , when you are at this level/stage of a r'ship.. you are deciding to make a commitment to each other. this man is missing something from the r'ship or vice versa for him to need to get his ego boosted all the time w/online. or HE is just addicted and has low self confidence.
i say don't marry the guy or pack your bags quite yet. this needs some serious talking and reevaluation. some people use this online stuff /and have greater intimacy w/ that then their own real life r'ships and that is not good. I say discuss and find out what is going on. If this were a really new r'ship it would be entirely different, but you have made a commitment to each other why would he be on an online dating site?? Doesn't make sense?
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