this is what I'm thinking

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
this is what I'm thinking
6
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 10:52pm
Ok, I seem to have one of two different affects on men. The first group of men for some reason totally turn stalker. They want to marry me on first date, or fly my across country to live with them, send me 20 e-mails a day...you get the idea...the other group ghosts on me. Most of them ghost after a first date that I thought went well. Occasionally they ghost before we even get to that stage. That's ok. these last few I can deal with. But the others confuse me. So what I am thinking is I should put together some sort of exit interview. Kind of like you might get when you leave a job or college or something. Just so I can kind of have an idea of what's happening. I always was a research junkie. DOn't worry I don't tell them that on first dates.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:00pm
I'm not sure what you're asking here?? Do you want to ask the guys who've ghosted on you why they ghosted? Not sure I'd want to know that. And then do you want to ask the other guys why they want to marry you before you ghost on them? I wouldn't want to encourage that. LOL.
Sorry I guess I'm just not understanding the post.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:33pm
I guess really I 'm not asking a specific question. I'm just kind of frustrated and don't know what I'm doing. I mean, if I go on a date with one guy and I think it goes well but he doesn't call even though I want him to, then I go on another date with a second guy and I don't hink it goes well, but I can't get rid of him, I must be doing something wrong.But I don't know what...And it is the not knowing that is killing me. And I don't know how to fix it. Does that make any more sense?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 6:33am
Yes, I hear you loud and clear. It's frustrating! Just keep trying.....as everyone says, it's a numbers game.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 9:50am

Practically I don't think it would work, I doubt anyone would fill it out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 10:04am

Hang in there; I'm sure it's nothing you're doing wrong. This is just "dating" in general. With OLD though; you could be a filler date for a lot of the guys you're meeting that ghost on you. They may have had better connections with other women. You've been there, meet a nice guy but bachelor number one is your ultimate pick so why pursue with bachelor number two if something is missing.

Trust me, you'll find a mutual match who will follow up with that second date, just takes time and good for you for going back out there and trying again.

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 2:09pm
Okay...I hear what you're saying. I've had similar experiences too and I honestly don't think you're doing any thing wrong. It's gonna be different every time because the guy will be different and you'll be different with each guy, depending on the connection or lack thereof. I try not to spend too much time analyzing it because trying to get an answer about the last one, I don't think will be of much help with the next one.
IMO the biggest downside to OLD is that pressure to hit it off from the get-go. Two virtual strangers meet and are already sizing each other up as potential mates (in most cases). You put a lot of pressure on yourself and too many expectations on him.
I've just decided to relax and enjoy the ride...after I finish taking my time-out;P
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