What is it with men and sports?
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What is it with men and sports?
| Wed, 12-14-2005 - 11:29pm |
So, I have begun to wonder what it is that makes men so obsessed with sports. I recently broke up with my boyfriend that I met on Match because he was too obsessed with sports. Well kinda, he started not having time for me, and all the time in the world to travel to every away football game for his college. He played on about 3 sports teams, with two other "pick-up" teams. He has 5 fantasy leagues (um seriously, what is that obsession?), and I started to notice, that every date was strategically planned around being near a TV for whatever game was on. He was a very nice, great guy. He was always very mannerly, however he knew he was screwing up because he would start to say "please don't be mad at me," or "tell me if this upsets you". Which of course, I never really said anything because what am I supposed to say?, "Yeah that pisses me off so it is a no go." If a guys asks that, he knows he is doing a no-no. So I called him up (ok, so I didn't think that through, but at least it wasn't an email) and broke things off amiably. He sounded ok when I said we wanted something different, but crushed when I said we should be friends. Ok after dating for 4 months he was only hanging out with me once every 7-9 days. I thought, for a minute that maybe we could get back together. He imed me recently and we were chatting and he admitted that maybe he was a little fanatical with the sports. But something tells me if I were made of pig skin, he would be madly in love with me. What is this obsession? And should I try to be his friend, or is that immature?

Have you ever seen the movie Fever Pitch? Sounds like exactly what you're going through.
Growing up in a very sport-oriented family I understand why guys are so obsessed with sports. My Dad was a fanatic. He coached. He played. He collected cards. Watched every sport out there and my Mom would complain. In fact, I remember one Thanksgiving my Mom was so angry cause my Dad took me and my brothers to a Celtic game. And we got home late and the food got cold. She didn't speak to him for a week.
Anyways, Why are guys so obsessed with sports? Cause it's their passion. It gives them emotional happiness. For my Dad, he told me because he was not able to play sports when he was a kid so as an adult he lived the rest of his life fulfilling his childhood dream.
I am a figure skating fanatic. It's only on for 4 months out of the year. My kids know better to keep it quiet when I'm watching it. It gives me emotional fulfillment. Let me have it for a few hours.
If I was seeing someone who was into football (I don't like football) I would try to. Just to be in that part of his life he is so passionate about. And of course, I would always route for the opposite team he wants to win. Just to give it some excitement. And I would make it special for him. Make sandwiches for the superbowl.
And it would be nice if he would sit with me on a monday night and watch skating with me. Be a part of my world. He'll probably fall asleep, but that's OK.
I'll stop dreaming now.
If this guy is really a great guy then maybe set dates up when football is not on. And you'd probably see him more often once season the ends. And if you want him to fall madly in love with you show up in a football jersey and ask him to teach you about the sport. Even better, get out in the field and learn to play. You might like it.
>I recently broke up with my boyfriend that
>I met on Match because he was too obsessed
>with sports.
I'm confused as to how this could happen. I thought Internet dating sites are meant to match you with people that have similar interests. Did he lie about his obsession?
>What is this obsession?
His obsession is an academic issue. Understanding it won't make him love you more.
>And should I try to be his friend, or is that immature?
Do you want him to be a friend or a lover?
My exhusband was a huge sports fan, every sport, he did fantasy football, baseball, collected cards and him and his friends had playstation tournaments even.
I always have liked hockey but never really football because I didn't really understand it. It's either be a sports widow or like the saying says if you can't beat em' join em'. And that's what I did, I started asking my husband about football, he loved that I wanted to know more about it and explained a lot of it to me, we'd occasionally go to the pats games, he always had the guys over on Sunday to watch the game and I'd fix a cool spread for him.
I actually found that I enjoyed football once I understood how it all worked and it was fun to root for a team and I would even join in on the football pools as well. It worked out fine for me.
Not ALL men are like this, however I'd say the majority of men like sports, they don't necessarily focus their world around it like the OP's guy but majority of men like sports and get a little nutty when their teams are playing.
Now that I'm divorced I got season tickets to the local AHL team and what a blast, met a bunch of single women in my section that I went out with, met a bunch of players and went out with them and met some really great people in general. It's just a really great social time going out to a sporting event.
I'm not sure why someone that into sports would want to be with someone that doesn't like sports- or at least isn't into them half as much as they are. As someone who is a pretty big sports fan, that is something I would definitely mention in a profile. I think if you have an interest that takes up a large portion of your time, you need to be with someone else that shares that passion. I don't buy into the opposites attract theory. If my idea of a fun Sunday afternoon is going to a bar to watch the NFL games, and my boyfriend's idea of fun is seeing the new exhibit at the art museum- then it's probably not going to work out very well. I know that was the whole premise of "Fever Pitch" as someone else mentioned- and that's why I didn't like that movie. It would rarely happen in real life, in my opinion. We all have so little free time- why would you want to spend it having to always choose between your boyfriend/girlfriend and something you love (sports, music, etc.)?
There are plenty of girls out that would like roadtripping for football and watching his intermural teams play- you just aren't one of them, and there's nothing wrong with that. Even if you compromised and tried to get into sports, you wouldn't ever be at the level he is at, so sounds like ending it was a good idea. Maybe this will be a wakeup call for him to figure out that he needs to be with someone that shares his love of sports.
Erica
P.S. I'd like to add that even as a sports fan, I think having 5 fantasy leagues is pretty obsessive- yikes! Does this guy have a job- how the heck could he have the time for that???
Most men aren't that obsessed with sports and enjoy watching an occasional game or two. When you are on simultaneous sports teams and are trying to carry on a relationship I think a man is trying to actually avoid having that personal relationship with not just you but with anyone.
He has issues.
When he said, "please don't be mad at me," or "tell me if this upsets you" that was your cue to say, "Yes, that will upset me. No, I don't want to watch football tonight, I want to go see a movie."
He knew that if he started any sentence out like that you would fold and he could convince you to watch any sport at any time. Please don't be so gullible in the future and stick up for yourself.