What is love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
What is love?
33
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 8:59pm

This is a follow-up from chat which turned into a really great discussion...


What is love?


Is it fleeting and changing? Or is is solid and steady? What adjectives would you use to describe it? And what is the difference of love vs. being in love?


The more descriptive the better... :o)


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 8:32pm

Do ya'll think there's a limit on love? Like I've heard that you get two great loves in your life... So is there a limit on how many times you'll be in love?


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 9:01pm

hmm curious if there is any truth to we will only love once?? maybe we all don't know what true love is yet then?? if we have had it 2-3 times so we say? maybe we thought it was the real thing but really it wasn't?

also true love grows. deeper over time. you meet, it is infatuation. it builds,grows, becomes a friendship, caring for eachother taking care of eachothers needs.. altruistic love.........real love is the one that has grown ..

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 9:12pm

Well, I can unquestionably say that real love can still exist, even if the relationship doesn't last. My ex-fiance and I had real love. Unfortunately, we both made mistakes which ended the relationship. We are still very close & still have that love for each other, even though we know we weren't meant to stay together for a lifetime as partners. The love has changed from a more romantic love to a friendship type of love, but it's still there & still real...probably even more real because it's friendship based & the infatuation has been taken out of it.

Edit: This is the guy who was/is a virgin & I willingly gave up sex for 3 years because I knew how much it meant to him to wait until marriage. Even though I never had that wedding night with him, I would have done it all over again. The lessons learned & the friendship I now have because of it was worth every cold shower! :) If that's not real love, I don't know what is! Now I just hope to find it again someday, but this time be able to make it last.




Edited 11/2/2005 10:15 pm ET by travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 9:25pm

It *was* some kind of love, yes, but if it was real, you'd still be together by my definition. You have your own view of what love is and that's cool.

Do you think real love and true love are the same?

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 9:40pm

Well, I don't believe true love exists. I believe in love & that it takes a lot of hard work to make it last & you could have multiple opportunities to create a lasting partnership with someone you love, who also loves you back.

So, after re-reading your original post, I still can't really find your definition of real love. If what I have isn't real love, what is YOUR definition. Is the love I feel for my cats not real because they pass away? I'm curious...




Edited 11/2/2005 10:42 pm ET by travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:52am
Real love would last beyond the grave to me. I think of my grandparents when I think of real love. I think of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. I think of anyone who's been together (Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell) or married a long time (Patrick Swayze and Lisa Niemi). If either of these couples break up, then it wasn't *real* love. That's just my view of it. June Carter and Johnny Cash - another real love. And still going, I believe.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:58am

Hi Libra,

>But I wonder if you've been in love and really believe
>that statement then what are you looking for, casual
>dating, companionship, FWB?

I have had the odd infatuation in my youth but I wouldn't consider this love and I have never been married. Women have loved me though, so I know what it's like. My first serious g/f showed me what true love means and it's all based on action not MEANINGLESS words. We only dated for about 2 years and 11 years after we split she finally got married (I think she was hoping we would get together again). She called me 1 year after she got married and told me that I am still her one true love. This is the sort of love I am looking for and have tried hard to find it. I doubt you can experience it more than once in a lifetime. My definition of love is obviously very different from most people.

>FWB?

This is a myth, sort of like UFO's. People claim they exist but there isn't any real evidence that I consider conclusive.

>casual
>dating, companionship

These are nice but they don't last.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 6:51am

Hi! ;)

Of course, I think love is limitless! I am a Libra....a lover of love. ;)
I shall always have the capacity to love and love well. I have had a couple of long term relationships. They just did not make it all the way...either of them. Love died or changed, and sometimes mistakes were made, and it is gone. I think people stop loving perhaps because they choose to....perhaps because they want to protect themselves or because they get cynical. Life is not the same for all of us. Some of us are luckier in finding love than others. I am sure I will find it again. :))

Sara

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 8:07am

>FWB?


This is a myth, sort of like UFO's. People claim they exist but there isn't any real evidence that I consider conclusive.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 9:49am

>FWB as in friends with benefits... unsure as
>to how that's a myth. Would you please explain?
>Thanks!

I don't believe that two people can continue to have sex but remain completely neutral. Emotions will eventually get in the way. They always do. Besides, nobody involved can be certain about what the other person is really thinking and feeling.