What "no answer" means

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
What "no answer" means
14
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 10:52am

This is somewhat connected to the discussion about whether a person who puts "doesn't drink at all" in his profile is likely to be a recovering alcoholic or not.

I was just contacted by a guy who seems very attractive but who has not answered the question about drinking frequency. This is noticeable because (a) he answered the smoking one ("no way") and (b) he has a preference for his match's drinking (he marked everything except "doesn't drink at all."). Now it is possible that it was just an oversight-- sometimes you think you've answered a question but you didn't. But I'm going to ask about it.

This made me think about how sometimes "no answer" is a sign of the person's openness to variety (for example, when the person leaves the "want more children" or "preferred height" categories blank) but more often than not, "no answer" makes you wonder what the person is not wanting to admit to.

Do most of you assume that "no answer" may mean "I have something I want to hide"? Or am I just being a bit paranoid?

Elsa

Pages

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 1:05pm

The only field where I assume that no answer means they have something to hide is if they don't fill anything in under "relationship status", LOL!

Otherwise, if it's important to me, I ask and try to keep an open mind until I get an answer.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 4:35pm

Ha!

Yeah, I agree the "relationship status" one is the important one. But don't you think sometimes people may leave blank other things they don't want to admit to?

I am definitely going to ask (if he replies to my reply). I am not "assuming" anything, but I *am* wondering why he left it blank, especially since he filled the corresponding one for his "match."

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 6:58pm

The only "no answer" I accept is under income. Everyone else needs to be filled in for me to email a guy or respond to his emails. I think it means they're hiding something.

(Actually, I believe my Yahoo profile says "no answer" for astrological sign, but that's because I don't believe in it - thankfully match.com has that answer).







iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 7:57pm

Emily,

I agree about "income"-- but I think most sites have an option of "prefer not to say" for that. I don't believe in horoscopes either, but I don't object to telling people my sign. I just don't notice what potential matches have filled.

I'm willing to give a guy the benefit of the doubt-- he may have left something blank accidentally or because he couldn't decide on the most accurate answer. But some blanks cause me a bit more concern than others.

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 11:55pm

Could be an oversight - but i have to say, if he is trying to HIDE something, its a pretty stupid way to do it! lol

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Sat, 07-29-2006 - 8:59pm

No answer could mean that the other options listed simply didn't apply to him, or perhaps, he'd just rather elaborate his answer in person. It's possible. No answer might also mean "I don't know".

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I've checked the no answer box a lot myself..but not necessarily because I was trying to hide something.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 12:07pm
I know that if I left the "body type" section with "no answer" people would worry more about my obesity than if I just marked (as I do) "a few extra pounds." ;) But yeah, I don't fret about it. I just think it's something to ask about (or look at closely when you start dating).
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 12:33pm

Well, I asked, but casually, in the middle of something else, so it wouldn't seem like I was giving him the third degree. He didn't answer. Could be he didn't notice the question. Could be he is hiding something.

(What I wrote was, "I see we have a lot in common, two kids, similar interests, neither of us smokes--it's not clear how you feel about drinking. Did you leave the category blank by accident? I am not much of a drinker, but enjoy an occasional social drink." He replied that we certainly were a lot alike, that he liked this and that on my profile, etc. Didn't address the drinking question. Could be an oversight, I suppose. What do you think?)

Anyway, elsewhere in the e-mail he made some comments that made him somewhat less appealing as a match (I don't like bigots) so I am not sure it is worth pursuing.

You're right that leaving it blank tends to call attention to it.

Elsa

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 12:43pm

Well, from that, it sounds like he's either reading comprehension challenged ;-), or he's hiding something. Given that and the comments that make him less appealing, I'd probably just move on.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 12:46pm

lol- then blatantly ignoring the ? from you - REALLY brings it to attention.


Well, I would say if this was someone you were really interested in, then I would ask him again - but it seems like maybe not. A bigot? Thats the last thing you - or anyone - needs.

Photobucket

Pages