At what point do you stop "shopping?"
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| Mon, 10-03-2005 - 9:48pm |
I apologize if this has been brought up in the past -- I did a quick search but wanted more info. Feel free to pass along a link to a different thread if need be.
So the guy I met online (that I like very much) seems to be into me. We've gone out on four dates, and each time the conversation was great. Although there has been barely any kissing, etc (not an issue... yet) we do talk or text every night. I imagine there will be a fifth and possibly sixth date this week/weekend. Now, he hasn't come out and told me directly, but from a few things he says (and from the fact that he is always active within 24 hours on his profile) I strongly suspect that he's still "shopping" and perhaps talking to and even dating other people. Heck... I even had a date Friday night (that didn't go well). But I'm "shopping" half-heartedly because my hopes and interests are really with this guy. At what point should I (and should he) put it all aside and focus on each other? How do I tactfully bring up the fact that I might be a little irritated if he is still "shopping" after several weeks of dating? And do I even have a right to be irritated by that?
And have any of you had a guy with whom you were serious, who lied about the fact that they stopped looking on the dating sites?
Thanks, Tobi

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We discussed it Friday.
I think a more reliable indication would be to do a "fresh" username search on match.
He may in fact have tried to take it down...I know a number of people have posted about thinking they hid their profile but it didn't "take", so it is a viable glitch on match.
But if it hasn't come down by the next time you see each other, then I'd definitely bring it up.
Sheri
I'm not sure I'm getting your point. Did you mean to direct your post to me?
Are you saying we shouldn't even bother discussing it because the guys are just going to lie anyway?
Sheri
Edited 10/4/2005 4:35 pm ET ET by northwestwanderer
Well, I know there are such men because some of my guy friends have profiles online. And I know women who've married men they've met online who meet those criteria.
That said, I do think such guys are the exception not the rule, but hey, it only takes one ;-)!
Sheri
mitsy2,
I have been using OLD for a little over a week and have realised that it isn’t the boon I thought it would be. It is labour intensive, exhausting and frankly, very disappointing. I doubt I will find my match but if I did meet someone that came close I would never log on again. My attitude is this. If you find someone that you like and have done everything "right" then you should remove your profile and stop shopping the moment *you* feel ready, no sooner no later. There is no minimum (arbitrary) period and there is no need to do it by mutual agreement. I think this attitude of "I'll take mine down if you take yours down" is childish and pointless. Even if they do take down their profile, will you then start wearing disguises and following him/her around to make sure they aren't "cheating" in the real world? If you are dating someone that you don't trust and must resort to clever and/or devious ways to check if they are still using OLD then the relationship will never work, EVER.
I agree and disagree.
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