What should I buy him?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
What should I buy him?????
10
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:49pm

We've been dating since 1/16/05 Valentine's Day is around the corner and he hasn't mentioned it. I am leaving next weekend Friday thru Sunday for Tahoe. It is his birthday on V-Day too what should I do? Should he have asked me by now but it is also his bday? Help!!!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 2:35pm

Is it 1/16/06 or 1/16/05??

If it's this year, I'd do a birthday card and that's it. If he hasn't mentioned Valentine's, I wouldn't bring it up. It can be touchy that early on.

If you've been dating a year, why the heck hasn't he mentioned it??

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 2:49pm

Wow!!!


You are toughy...just a birthday card??? Really...ok do I give it to him, mail it to his job. We've only been dating since this January 16, 2006. Believe me I won't bring it up but I'm going to be pissed, we are planning to have sex...start a relationship after we both get our HIV status...requested by me. So while waiting for results we will be making love for the first time early part of March.


I also need to bring up the monogamy talk to...Help again??? I so love & hate this part so many damn preliminaries to go thru. Do I give a gift, do I give a card? Etc., etc.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 2:57pm

I guess I am a bit of a toughy and a bit old fashioned. I feel like the guy should sort of set the tone in terms of giving gifts, etc. Valentine's day is such a difficult holiday - some hate it, some love it, there's a strange sense of pressure involved. That's a lot for a new relationship - so that's why I say not to make a big deal about it yet.

I was in this same place last year. I had just started dating someone a few weeks before V-Day, and I left the ball in his court. He was out of town on biz on the actual day. He just sent an e-mail that said Happy Valentine's Day - that's it. I was a bit bummed, but I don't place that much stock in the holiday in the first place. Don't take it too personally - he could just be one of the people who doesn't believe in Valentine's Day, but then he'll surprise you on some random day with something amazing. I actually prefer that.

As far as the monogamy talk, that's harder. It sounds like it's already on the table, so I'd just casually bring it up (away from the bedroom) and see how he reacts.

I'm with you - love/hate the beginning stages. It's so confusing!

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 3:01pm

I'm in the keep it VERY simple camp. A card is good and maybe something small that goes along with his interests - a book, a CD, a bottle of his favorite wine, some cookies... You've only known this guy three weeks! Don't go overboard. It sounds like he's into you and that it's going well, but these early stages are make or break it time. Too much, he runs. Not enough, he runs.

Good luck!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 4:14pm

I was in this situation last year at this time (God, has it been a whole year already? Yikes!). I made the guy some cupcakes with those little candy hearts on them. He sent me flowers at work and bought me a sexy nightie. It was too much too soon, IMO. If I had been really into him, though, I probably would've felt differently. This is the guy who told me he loved me on the third date and I was so not there. I felt we barely knew each other after three dates.

I'm firmly in the "keep it simple" camp and definitely let him take the lead. Too many women (I've done it) go overboard with this stuff and the guy freaks out.

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 4:29pm

Agree, definitely let HIM take the lead on the valentine stuff. I'd also say let him bring up the monogamy talk once you get your hiv results. A couple weeks is really early to be worrying about any of this.


If you must, get something simple for his birthday, a cd is

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:41pm

Ok, I agree. You guys are right I will just by him a card and that is it. I tried looking for his profile online and can't find it...pretty good sign I believe.


babies 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 6:01pm

Be wary of making assumptions though as well as of jumping into something so fast. You guys really hardly know each other. As I said, it sounds like it's going great and that's wonderful, but take your time and DISCUSSING the exclusivity is still a good idea instead of just assuming that you are.

Good luck and have fun!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 6:24pm

I would go for an intersting book. It says that you care. Not getting anything or just a card is a little rude especially to someone you plan on making love to.

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 8:16pm
have you ever thought of just asking???? (ie are we going to exchange vday gifts or do yuou just want to do XYZ to celebrate. Or asking if his family or friends are going to be having a birthday celebration for him....)