What should I do???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
What should I do???
1
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 8:44pm
Sorry this is long but I need some advice!
About 6 weeks ago I got 2 emails right in a row from a guy through match. He sent the second because he forgot to mention a few things in the first. He has a great sense of humor but did say this in #1…”I'm not fully divorced yet but have been in the process for a very long time (first filed in January 2004 for crying out loud...). I have been very patient and respectful about keeping my head down and not getting out to meet new friends during this process, but have gotten tired of being alone all the time. I would love to make some new friends.”
So I wrote back & we sent a few more, seem to like the same kinds of thing…in one of them he said “I suspect you noticed my "profile" said I'm "currently separated", not divorced. It's true, but the relationship is well and truly over, it's been dead for a very long time, but the DAMNED paperwork is not progressing very smoothly at all. I first posted on Match about 3 months ago, thinking the agreement was the final..but when it blew up I removed my profile for a while. Guess what? It all blew up again yesterday!!!!! So I've now turned off my profile again and won't turn it back on everything’s done! So anyway, I am single, I do live alone, I am looking for friendships that might lead to more someday if there's mutual chemistry”.
That sounded great to me since I’m not sure I want anything more than a good friend right now! Still, the more we “talked” the more interested I’ve gotten & finally mentioned meeting him. He replied that his work was really busy- he had been saying that earlier because of the season etc. & said “the biggest reason I'm reluctant to get together just yet is I want to keep my head down until I am FINALLY and TOTALLY divorced.. then I WILL BE FREE of that crap, and you won't have to become involved in the BS either. I do look forward to meeting you and getting to know you, I just want to be free of this crap when I do. I hope it happens within the next few weeks.”
So I answered & said that I understood (mine was bad too) but I hoped he’d keep in touch. That was 10 days ago!!!! In the past I’d start some of the emails & then he’d reply, & back & forth for awhile, but never him first (since the beginning!). So, is it ok to send him an email—I’d like to thank him (really!) for a book he recommended or does the ball have to be in his court?? Oh also, this is a small town (I'm new so not many know me) so I do know that they are split up- she has gone back to her maiden name.
Thanks so much!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 10:13pm
Definatly you have put forth enough - he obvioulsy knows you are interested & either he really DOES just want to keep his head down, as he says, for a while, or if he isnt interested in you, either way - I wouldnt pursue him anymore at this point.

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