What is a tactful way...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
What is a tactful way...
5
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 1:30pm

... to say you already have plans on a night that a possible date asks you out? I'm wondering do you guys tell the guy/gal what you have going on? Or do you simply say "I'd love to, but have plans already... How about X.?"


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 1:35pm

I say the latter. At times I have provided too much detail -- like a birthday party, etc. and realize it's not necessary. For the most after you say, No or not available, the rest of the garble gets tuned out! (smile) Usually more established or committed relationships, you can provide more detail.

Sorry, I have other plans, or am not available is sufficient and then giving alternate dates.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 1:43pm

It really depends what point we're at in the relationship. If we've just met (or haven't met yet), I just say something along the lines of what you've suggested...I have plans, but how about X or Y instead?

If we're exclusive, then I would say what I'm doing.

If it's somewhere in between, I may give details or I may not. I kind of play it by ear.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 1:52pm
I would just say, I would love to go out but I already have plans on tuesday how about friday? He doesn't need to know what your plans are or with whom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 8:55pm

I've only had this happen once that I can think of... when I was on my way to a second date with rollerblading guy, GG called and asked me out for a second date.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 11-17-2005 - 8:56am

All you have to say is "That night is not good for me."

No explanation about plans are necessary.