What would make you pass on a profile?
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| Sun, 07-17-2005 - 8:58pm |
In my year of OLD-ing, I have come across exactly two profiles which matched my Wish List point by point! Typically, my wink/smile got no response from either of them!
Given that there's always one, two or more negative points in the profiles, I've narrowed down what I consider a Pass:
Wanting children (I'm 46 and done birthing babies)
athletic and toned (I am NOT!)
Separated
Mention of sex
Can't think of anything else off hand. What about all of you? What makes you pass? And what would you consider negotiable?
I consider these negotiable:
Smoking (I've quit again)
My age range: if they have 45, I'll still consider winking
His age range: I've come down from my high horse and increased my preferred age range at either end. It is now 40 - 49. But even if a 50 year old winked I would consider him.
amjay

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Well, mine are simple.
1) No picture.
2) Smokers
3) Mention of sex
4) Mentions loneliness or anything about the ex
5) Poor grammar & spelling
6) Not enough detail in the profile text
7) Doesn't like cats
Annie
Good Morning!
I would pass on:
1. height (I'm 5'8" so I really prefer a guy 5'10" and up!!)
2. weight (if they mention 'stocky' - that's just not a turn on for me personally)
3. smoker
4. separated
5. overly athletic - workout 12 days a week
6. no picture
7. mentioning past relationships
that's all I can think of right now. I know the first 2 are kinda shallow but it's important to me.
The major things that would make me pass when my profile was up are:
1. Children younger than late teens at home or custody shared. I've raised mine and while it may sound selfish to some, it's time for me. Grandchildren are great...they can go home. I've learned that some teenaged girls just aren't eager to share dad.
2. Any mention of the ex in their profile.
3. Separated
4. Mentions sex in their profile.
5. Spends several days a week in the gym.
6. Mentions that he's an avid golfer/pics taken on the golf course posted. I was a golf widow for 25 years...BTDT.
Even though I'm not doing OLD any more it would be everything you said (especially the "athletic and toned" and "birthing babies" ..LOL), but you can add when they have a photo posted of themsleves with anthing that has motor..boat, car, etc.
My "negotiables" were: Height...I'm 5'8" but had no issues with a man 5'6", age...my range was 40 to 50, but a 55 yr old still had a fighting chance! LOL
<<<1. Children younger than late teens at home or custody shared. I've raised mine and while it may sound selfish to some, it's time for me. Grandchildren are great...they can go home.>>
I am SOOOOOO glad you wrote this. A very good looking gentlemen responded to my profile (I think he was the first one over the weekend) and as we shared emails, it came out that although he has joint custody, his 2 daughters (ages 12 and 8) are with him all of the time.
Well, I freaked. I had to be honest and told him EXACTLY what your wrote above re: I've raised mine, and now it's "me" time. I knew that would put the deathgrip on meeting....and it did :( He thanked me for my honesty and just had to make the comment..."We are the whole package, you understand."
No Sh*t Sherlock (I thought). What kind of decent man would have it any other way? Too bad though, here's a 50 year old VERY AVAILABLE man with babies at home. SOMEONE got a late start ;)
Begin
A Pass:
Smoking
Not wanting children
Been divorced more than once
Badmouthing exes in the profile
Unemployed
Negotiable:
Lives with parents, as long as it's accompanied with a good story of divorce, child support or debt that sent him back home, if he's over 30 and still living with mom and dad because it's easier until he can buy a house I will pass.
I think both of you should be commended for your honesty with each other. So many people try to hide what comes along with the package. Which just infuriates me.
When I was first single, 3 years ago, I dated a man for a couple of months who had children ages, 7 & 9. That experience quickly taught me that that was not the situation I wanted to be in. I also dated a man recently with a 14 year old daughter who apparently set the rules in the house and one of them was Dad was not going to date. He decided he would wait until she was 18 and out of the house. Good Luck Buster!!
You and I seem to be somewhat in the same boat. I was married for 25 years and my adult daughter (25) still lives at home with me. Several ask why she stills live at home and I say why not? That's her home and we get along really well. She works full-time and goes to school part time, it's really more like having a room-mate because we both go our separate ways most of the time. If they don't like it let them move on. That's how I chose to live my life and it works for me/us. I've met a few men who aren't receptive to the idea which tells me that they are not the type man I'm looking for anyway.
Libra
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