What Would You Do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
What Would You Do??
5
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 8:48am
If you were told you were going to die next year, what would you do differently and why don't you do it now? Since most here are single discussing relationship issues, would it make you less selective; perhaps more tolerant in selecting a mate (and please don't confuse it with settling) OR does the fact we feel we have time not play a part in your decision-making at all?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 10:09am

Of course things would be different - if I were to have one year left I'd go out and get l__d immediately!

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 11:35am

This is something I think about from time to time, esp. since losing my beloved mother to colon cancer almost three years ago.

If I knew I'd be gone within the next year, I'd probably work for about the next six months, quit and then spend the remaining six months spending up my nest egg/retirement. I'd leave enough for my burial, find a couple of families in need and help in whatever way I can, travel some, meet with various family members and friends one-on-one to say how much each one means to me and give them something personal that I now own. As for my the remainder of my material possessions, I'd probably spend the last month selling or giving stuff away, take the proceeds and do something good with that.

Last but not least, I'd encourage people to live right and make sure their r'ship with the Lord is on point -- know for sure where they plan on spending eternity. If they don't know the Lord, I'd encourage them to make every effort to get to know their Creator because life is short and tomorrow ain't promised.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 11:48am

You know, it is with all that in mind that I have been striving to meet a good, decent guy. I don't want to be 65 and alone. My Mom and I are very close, so I really do have some major fears about being alone after she's gone. After losing my Dad in 2000, my fears about never finding a decent guy have really been at the forefront of my mind for a long time. I saw how lonely life was for my Mom. Fortunately, she had me, but I will have no children to help me along in my old age. At the very least, I would like a good guy to be with for those "retirement" years. However, I have felt like I was in the prime of my life and wasting time each year when nothing ever panned out with any of these men I've met and dated.

So, mortality DOES very much dictate my thoughts about the future and being alone versus being single. Even if I had a guy in my later years and he went before me, at least I would not feel as short-changed as I have in the last 7 years.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 12:10pm

I'm with SP--I'd definitely have more sex! I wouldn't worry about the fact that it was with someone who didn't want a LTR or didn't want to be monogamous or whatever, because it wouldn't matter anymore. I would just be focused on having fun and living for the moment.

But since I hope I won't die next year, the long run *does* matter, so that's why I prefer not to have casual sex--the fun doesn't outweigh the emotional toll it takes.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 12:26pm

I feel you.

I have some of the same concerns you expressed. Since the end of my abusive marriage (almost four years ago), I have become a bit of a loner. Most of my friends live a fair distance from me and don't have time to hang out much. So movies and such, when I do go, I often catch a matinee alone. It is what it is. I try to stay active (began working out three to four times a week a little more than a month ago) and do things I enjoy even if it's by myself.

My encouragement to you is to do what you can now to broaden your circle of friends, male or female. Perhaps join a book club or start one -- or maybe a singles group where everyone gets together once a week to meet, greet, eat, catch a flick, whatever.

Hang in there and know that you aren't alone.




Edited 12/5/2006 12:28 pm ET by blessed365