What would you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2006
What would you think?
12
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 2:00pm
Ok, let me give you some background. I have been speaking with a guy that I met over the internet for over five months. I let my feelings get the best of me and I fell for this guy, at least the image I created in my mind. During this time my family has been going though some very, very rough stuff and I unfortunately live 3000 miles away from them. In about three weeks I am moving back home and this guy lives around there too. He knows about my family and what they are going through because we do talk so much. Anyway, we were planning on meeting when I returned home. But this weekend he tells me that we should hold off on meeting because I really need to focus on my family and my focus should not be on him. I am not at all sure what to think. My family's problems have been going on for a couple of months and he has asked me before if I thought it was necessary that we hold off on meeting so I could take care of my family. I told him that I wanted and needed to meet him so that I could decide if I wanted to pursue him further. Well he has decided that we will not meet when I return home and that he does not want to meet me until my family situation is worked out.
What do you guys think? Do you think that my family is an excuse for him not to meet me? or do you think that he seems genuine? Any advice would be appreciated. Sorry its so long:)

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 8:51am

I know it's so easy to go down the path of cynicism, but I agree with the other poster who said that maybe he's just afraid of rejection. I have a gf who met a guy online and they really wound up liking each other... but he was terrified that she would reject him. It took him a few months before he could even go meet her. Sometimes fear can get the best of someone and they look for the easiest excuse to get out of facing the fear.


Now I know some here could say well the guy isn't really serious then or he's not healthy or whatever... That's not my point. My point here is to not jump to the worst. Go back home and give it a little time to see what develops. He may be all he says he is and may just be scared.


Kerry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Sun, 05-28-2006 - 6:35am

He's
Just
Not
That
Into
You.

This is easy. Some guy, talking for months, finally gets the chance to meet the woman he "loves", and he gives you an excuse/reason to not meet?

Puh-leeze. Wake up and smell the coffee. He isn't into you, because if he were into you, he would want to, you know, be WITH you. In person. See you. Hear you, talk to you, hold your hand, try to see you naked, all those things that people who are into each other try to do.

Look at it this way- as soon as you are making excuses up in YOUR head for why he does not want to see you (like he is just shy, or he is worried you won't like him in real life, or whatever) it is a pretty good sign that HJNTIY.

NEXT him. The sooner you get over him (and how hard can it be to get over someone you never met in person?) the sooner you can meet the guy who really DOES want to meet you in person!

Pages