What is your # 1 red flag???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
What is your # 1 red flag???
11
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 10:16am

Let's list some red flags? Just for those who are new to this or need some help distinguishing between which man to date...

My number 1 red flag is-- when they are overly passionate about me. I have received several emails about how they have been looking for the love of their life, and found it when they saw my picture. And now, if I would just give them a chance, they would make me the happiest princess on the face of the earth! Blah, blah, blah!!!

I delete those messages so fast!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 10:24am
i dont really have a number one red flag but lately ive been getting a lot of "youre so good looking" "youre gorgeous" "youre hot" "how is someone so good looking still single?" and blah blah blah. It's nice to hear they think im good looking but cant they look past that and say something else about my profile? i know that people tend to look at the picture first. i do too. but if i send something to a guy its not all "youre hot". and typically these guys that start off with the looks thing tend go to sex type of stuff pretty quickly and then i dont talk to them anymore. like the guy that said i was hot and later, very randomly, asked what kind of underwear i wear... all in the first conversation we had on IM! so if that's a red flag there ya go!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 3:51pm

My current #1 red flag is when a guy lists 'sex' as an interest or hobby.

Most of us like sex - that should be a given. If he has to emphasize it, it makes me wonder if he's obsessed with that and nothing else.

Guys who overemphasize how much they love to please a woman, how romantic they are, and don't list anything of substance in their description also turn me off. They either come across as needy and desperate, or insincere.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 10:14pm
#1 ..... any sort of lying or untruth....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 11:00pm

guys who memorise my profile and recite it replacing my name with theirs...
I said in my profile description that I m looking for a guy who respects the environment and all the creatures and when I met this guy he lectured me about how terrible he feels for eating meat and he wanted to go back to being vegeterian... and his love for fashion and how he buys silk shirts not polyester like his friend who does not know that silk should not go into the dryer. ( I mentioned liking stylish men)
Also how unimpressed with the wine we had kuz he is "more sofisticated" than the average crowd (since mentioned upscale restaurants in my post)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 8:06am

I have two right now.

1. His ex-wife has a serious psychological disorder and disappeared with the kids while he was at work but she got custody of the children.

2. Must emphasize that he wants a partner that isn't cold. Baby, if your ex was cold, it was likely because you were a dud not a stud. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 10:01am
probably more a "pet peeve" than a red flag: i hate when they can't spell or have no understanding of grammar. and it's always sketchy when they have a big, long explanation why they don't have a picture posted or if they write to you but their profile is "hidden"...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 12:04pm
Lately I've talked to a couple of guys on the phone and in person who have or had teen-age daughters. They mention how the young guys are just after "one thing" with their young daughters. I'm finding this to be a red flag because as I recall, the guys in high school who were after "one thing" were the creeps, jerks, etc. It makes me wonder about the guys I'm talking to. I met a number of guys who were good friends to me in high school. I dislike people who try to put people into categories that usually just don't fit, almost like they're projecting themselves onto others to try to make them look bad. It usually only takes a few minutes of talking to someone also before their biases, prejudices, etc. start creeping into the conversation. Why can't those people just be happy for others I wonder?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Sat, 12-24-2005 - 1:54pm

Those biases and prejudices do come out early - that's why I always talk to someone on the phone before meeting them.

There was one guy I met online who looked great on paper, was charming and fun when we IM'd - but then we talked on the phone! All he could talk about was how much he couldn't stand Russian women, how all women are looking for someone to take care of them while they pop out babies, etc.

The clincher was when he called me by the wrong name when we ended the conversation. Needless to say, that was the end of that.

I think it is really wise to keep an eye out for those red flags, and don't ignore them. You'll save yourself a lot of grief later.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for sweetanima
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2004
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 6:51am

Hi,
A big red flag is when there is a edited picture where you can see the potential date and half an arm still somewhere around him ...I don't get it why guys don't ask their best buddy to take good pictures without the former gf on it. Or better why a man stating he earns some big bucks doesn't invest in some prof. picts.

If thy wanna have a new decent girl in their life they should beginn with fotos of their new life .
If it's not a current gf it might be a sister or so ..then why cut her out ? I know it's not a big turn on to see another woman on the foto too ..but if it's family he could state it in the caption of picture. Or in profile.

A big red flag is also someone stating in his profile that he is looking for a girl that can give a lot without telling what he could give first.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 7:48pm
Same as yours. It's frightening, and kind of funny how abusive they get when you don't respond the way you want them to. Same thing with calling me "babe" or anything like that. Ugh.
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