What's the deal with online dating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
What's the deal with online dating?
3
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 7:32pm
I am totally new to this online dating scene. Honestly it makes me nervous. I met this guy on Plentyoffish.com and we have just been talking on MSN for 3 hours. He seems really awesome and I am looking forward to talking to him again and even meeting him. How do I know if I have hooked a creep or a catch? And at what point do you initiate an actual meeting? Should I wait for him to? I guess I just have this idea in my head that guys using online dating are creeps and are looking to take advantage...(so why you ask did I create a profile well because my friend did and I thought well he isn't a creep so they can't all be creeps.) My friend met this guy online last year and he is a total jerk but she thinks he is great. The guy can't rather doesn't want to keep a job and he scams her out of money. So I guess I am afraid of the same. Any tips anyone? In part as stupid as it sounds if it works out I am a afraid of the judgement from people if I were to tell them how we met. I know online dating has become far more acceptable than it was years ago. Or has it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 10:00pm

I suggest:

1 - no more 3 hour IM sessions. IM is not a great communication form in my opinion and neither is email. You cannot really get to know someone via these methods no matter what it might seem.

2 - move to a short conversation as soon as you feel comfortable which hopefully is sooner rather than later.

3 - then move to an in person meet as soon as you feel comfortable which should also be sooner rather than later.

Usually a phone conversation or two can weed out most creeps but you might actually have to meet in person before you realize it. Most guys online are not creeps but you have to expect that you will not have chemistry with most of them either. It's not a bad thing but you have to meet a lot of frogs to find a prince. So you might suggest to this guy that you talk on the phone if you have too many more email or IM convos and see what he says. If he says he wants to keep it online, you have to decide if you want to be a pen pal. I'm going through that right now and I am pretty sure I don't want to be a pen pal so I am not sure what to do! Good luck.

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Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 11:26am

>>My friend met this guy online last year and he is a total jerk but she thinks he is great. The guy can't rather doesn't want to keep a job and he scams her out of money. So I guess I am afraid of the same.


That's not because she met him online, that's because she was a poor judge of character

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 1:23pm
online dating is just another venue i do agree. in todays world think about everyting that we do on the internet. its simply logical for us to look for love there too. ive never been embarassed to tell someone that i met a guy online. except maybe my dad because hes not so found of it all, he doesnt use computers. but hes older and its not his cup of tea. but most people that i tell think its really cool. especially if i really like the guy and he really likes me. its really kind of interesting too that my last boyfriend that i met online knows my best friends relatives and now this new guy that i met and like a lot was at my county's fair for a concert that i was at too. its kind of funny because it makes them seem to not be complete strangers that way. so i honestly dont look at is a weird at all, just another way to meet people. and if you take that outlook others will except that. and yes there are bad guys on the internet, but who says that you have to actually date them. if they "rub you the wrong way" then you dont have to talk to them and can ghost, disappear. but i say take the chance and maybe youll have fun and meet some good guys, because i have and im sure the other ladies on here have too! good luck and stay possitive, its very important!