What's going on here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2009
What's going on here?
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 4:10pm

Hello all. I'm new here and read some of the discussions and think a lot of you give great advice so I'm here posting my problem and would love some insight.

I was seeing this man from a dating website for about 7 months. We have never met but had plans to meet this upcoming August. I am from the United States and he is from another country so it did take us some time to figure out when and how we are going to meet. I was very excited to finally get a chance to be with him as all we do is speak on the phone, talk through email and messenger services. Although we never communicated face to face, somehow our "relationship" seemed very real. I know a lot of people claim that you cannot fall in love without meeting some one first but I tend to disagree. I really was ready to put my personal dreams and goals on the back burner so I could be with this guy for real.

We had a discussion last Thursday and from then on we have not spoken one word to each other. We've both been very busy with social activities etc and that has made it extremely difficult for us to spend time together. We talked about it and I expressed to him that I was ready and willing to do whatever it takes to make some time in my schedule for him but it appears he was not willing to do the same. I don't really ask for a lot, I guess I felt that if I was as important as he claims I am to him, that he would make some free time for me. He was getting ready for a trip at the time we were discussing this issue and kind of shut me down by saying " I really have to go pack, I love you". I got no sense of closure whatsoever from this guy and I feel the way he handled it was completely unfair to me.

Now it's Tuesday, we haven't spoken a word to each other and I'm left clueless. I don't know if I should message him and ask him what the deal is or if I should just let him be the one who initiates contact, if he ever wants to again. I don't want to "chase" after him, that is not my style but I do think I deserve some kind of explanation.

I'm not sure if I was "used" as some sort of comfort for him in these past months. I am 14 years younger than him and maybe he thought he could manipulate me and now maybe he is bored with me and is throwing me out. I do know a bit about his past and do know he only gets involved with women who are very much younger than he is. I hate to think I was just some sort of game to him because even though we've never met, I did invest a lot of feelings into this. Any advice would be appreciate and TIA!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 10:42pm

I am one of those who is skeptical and

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 12:29am

Im sorry. But I think this is a perfect example of WHY you cant "fall in love" or "have a relationship" with someone you've never met in real life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 2:29pm


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2009
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 12:04am

>>I was seeing this man from a dating website for about 7 months. We have never met but had plans to meet this upcoming August.<<