What's my problem? A possible pattern.
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What's my problem? A possible pattern.
| Fri, 12-09-2005 - 2:46pm |
I'm not sure if I'm on to something here, I'll probably find out next time I see my therapist.


Yeah I have felt that before... And there could be many reasons (I'm curious to hear what your thearpist has to say). For me, it helped to turn it around into "Why wouldn't they want to be with me?"
To emdeesea... I really like that quote! :o)
I think it's human nature to want what you can't have. A few months ago I dated a guy very briefly. It seemed though when I didn't return his calls he became more eager and called me twice before I returned the one call. Whereas early on he would take his time by a day or two to return the call. I figured we weren't a personality match - I pay attention to actions and I'm not into games.
I'm glad you figured it out because if you don't you may never been in a relationship where it's mutual. Think about the rest of your life when dating, do u really want to chase after some guy who's not into you and avoid the guy that wants to be there by your side holding your hand? But congrat's on figuring out a pattern; that's a big step.
Good luck.
SP
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Can I get an AMEN?!?!?
:o)
I used to have this issue, but no longer (yea counseling ;-)). Now when someone is interested in me (assuming I'm interested in him of course), I'm like, "woohoo!"...and when someone doesn't show clear interest in me, it's a turn-off. I can't think of the last time I thought that I wasn't worthy of someone's attention, which is real progress for me.
Where I still have trouble, however, is when someone shows clear interest in me early on, I get attached, then he does the 180 degree turnaround and/or becomes hot and cold (alternative pursuit and withdrawal). It's SO hard for me to walk away, once I get attached. I know from counseling why that is, I still just haven't figured out a solution yet, but I'm working on it ;-).
I can't remember, have you read "He's Scared, She's Scared" by Steven Carter? The behavior you describe is indicative of someone with passive commitment issues. You might find it helpful...I know I did.
Sheri
Thank you Sheri, I will look for that book.
Edited 12/10/2005 11:34 pm ET by teri_73