When?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
When?
17
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 11:24am
What is the earliest you would become engaged to someone? Remember you could always have a long engagement to figure out things before you get married...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
In reply to: nicki8705
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:49pm
but what about the old "when you know, you know" kinda thing. that when they're "the one" that youll just know? cuz ive heard that before from very trusted people who were married happily for years. that time shouldnt matter, just how much you feel for them?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
In reply to: nicki8705
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:55pm
this is exactly what im saying. when you know, you know. and the two im talkin about see eachother pretty much every day. theyve met eachothers family and both family's like them together. i just dont think we should always put such a time limit on love. when it happens and its right then why should we try to schedule it? life happens when youre busy making other plans, ya know. and in my life nothing has gone as planned so i can totally agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
In reply to: nicki8705
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:55pm
I have felt that way about two men but didn't end up marrying either. One guy, I just "knew" after the first date that we were meant to be together forever - but by the six month mark, we were driving each other crazy. Him, I would have gotten engaged to at one month, but in retrospect it would have been a mistake. Hindsight is 20/20. People usually only talk about just "knowing" when things work out for the best and they are right - when they think they know and are wrong, they forget about those times.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nicki8705
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:08pm

Yeah...I've come to believe that people are only "the one" in 20/20 hindsight. I've had that feeling several times in my life and only once has it proved to be anywhere near correct (with my ex-husband).

As one of my favorite relationship books says (paraphrasing), "if it's the love of a lifetime, you'll have a lifetime to enjoy it, so what's the rush?"

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
In reply to: nicki8705
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:13pm
i think that if its the love of your life and you know this then why keep putting it off. whats the sense in waiting if its gonna last forever. but i get what ur saying.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nicki8705
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:28pm

But that's exactly my point. There are lots of times people "just know"...and they're wrong. But we don't hear about those, we only hear about the times that they "just knew" and they were right...20/20 hindsight in other words. The former happens MUCH more frequently than the latter, however.

Marriage is too important, IMO, to take that kind of risk.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
In reply to: nicki8705
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:43pm

At least a year, and possibly longer.

I'm very cautious when it comes to the subject of marriage (haven't been there yet). Everything needs to check out, no doubts or "I don't knows". That said, I'll likely be a singleton for a while, and I'm quite okay with that fact. Honestly, I'm beginning to think that the ideal relationship for me is a committed one without the legal woes.

It probably also helps that I haven't been plagued by a ticking biological clock. I've been ovulating sand longer than I care to remember.




Edited 2/27/2006 4:03 pm ET by happyjustme

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