When did dating become so complicated?
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|Fri, 07-24-2009 - 5:57pm|
I've been reading this board as well as a few others on iVillage for while now. There are many stories of ghosting situations, people who lie, people who want fwb situations, stories of hope, stories of success and stories of disappointment over failure.
I myself have had my ups and downs over the last year and a half. Most recently yesterday.. I met a guy who I had talked to for a few weeks back in January. Life got busy and we lost contact( no real surprise to me, I think this medium creates it to some extent) fast forward to the end of June and he reconnects with me and asks me out for coffee. I agree. We plan a time and place, I show up he doesn't. He texts me later to apologize he needed a nap.( he couldn't phone me before he took the "nap?" to cancel?)
I voice my displeasure and just leave it at that. A week later he starts to text me again being all flirty flirty. So I basically say to him that I have no interest an " electronic relationship" So either we do coffee or just drop the whole deal. He agrees!
The rescheduled meeting was yesterday! The plan was 12:30 at a set location. I always get to meeting places early on dates so I can get in the groove of things. I phone him at 12:10 to give him the location of my whereabouts. He doesn't answer so I leave a message. He calls back 10 minutes before we are to meet saying that he has a sore ankle so he is slow to get going. He will be there shortly( in the mean time I ran in to some friends, checked out some shops and bought myself a coffee and people watched) I say fine. Well Shortly turned into an hour later! I was about to call and leave when he called me to say he was here.
So we connect, conversation was basically guided by me, I couldn't really tell any attraction physically( on my end) ( he had his sun glasses on the entire time) we were checking out an outdoor culinary festival so we had little time to sit and chat as it was. We spend a few hours there and then we begin to depart. He gives me a hug( first real contact the entire date) and then he kissed me ( which caught me off guard and was definitely an awkward moment as I wasn't expecting it)
He then says ok well I'll talk to you later! When I got home I sent a polite thanks for the good afternoon text message. He replies 8 hrs later to say glad that I had fun and he'll talk to me later....
It's pretty clear to me that this probably won't go beyond what it was! ( His behavior over the course of the last month even after given the benefit of the doubt just showed me how serious he is about actually dating)
My question (or questions are rather) today is? How did it dating itself become so complicated? How did we get to the point where it's ok to be rude and have no shame about it( for both genders) How did we get to the point where we have to read between the lines of every interaction?( is he interested, is she?) How did we get to the point where sometimes assume the worst in people?
I have to laugh at the last year and a half as it's almost the only way to keep sane through this dating process!
Ohh the oddities of dating! I don't remember it being this complicated in my 20's but I guess in my 30's the "rules" have changed.
Anyway just something I've been pondering about...