I think it really depends on the point you are at with the person. If I've only emailed, I'll probably give the person quite a bit of time before considering them a ghost...and an indefinite time during which I'd consider going out with them. Calling on the phone and talking about going out?...if I haven't heard from the person in a couple of weeks, then I'd consider them a ghost. If we're dating and haven't been intimate, I'd give them a week of no contact. If we've been intimate...two or three days TOPS. To be honest, if it's gotten that far, I really like to be in contact every day, but I'll suffer through a couple of days if I'm crazy about someone!
When I'm in contact with someone for OLD - I think I can have the expectation that if they are active in OLD that they're checking their email daily. So if they lag more than two days I take that as a definite sign of low interest or I'm being played as a backup to others that they're dating.
Once you're active with someone they tend to have varying degrees of "comfort" as to how frequently they keep in touch. Some people will email you 3 times per day. Some hardly once every three days. Personally I like to email a couple times before the meet -- don't really care if we talk -- then get to a meeting.
I have that exact situation right now - I have someone that I met once -- we're having dinner Wed. She emails maybe every three or four days. That tells me I'm on deck for a tryout but still in the "not sure column".
The only thing that matters in the early stages, imho, is if they disappear. If they email me 3x per day. Call once per day.. etc -- and we haven't met -- it's all irrelevant because as you know until you get face to face nothing really counts (it's all pre-screen).
Based on my OLD history, no matter which stage of the process we're in - email, phone, after first meet, dating for a while - once 3 days of no contact have passed I can say with 100% certainty that it's all over.
After a full day I figure they're gone. By 3 days I'm pretty sure of it. It's hard to put an exact number on the ghosts but I'd say of people who emailed me first -- perhaps 4 out of 10 never reply. Of people that do reply I'd say ghosting is 50-70%. I've stopped replying to anyone who I have the slightest hesitation because I just don't enjoy the disappearing act.
IF by intimate you mean sex, as in intercourse, and you really feel that you want to be in contact every day at that point, please don't settle for less!!
If I have had intercourse with a guy, OLD or other, he'd frekin BETTER BE CALLING ME THE VERY NEXT DAY! And if he doesn't, he has a permanent demerit next to his name, and most likely, I won't be doing it again with him.
If a guy can't find 5 minutes in 7 days to call, text or email me to let me know his entire family died in an earthquake and since he was 137th in line for the throne, he is now being trained on royal etiquette and just doesn't have time to date, he's definitely a ghost.
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I think it really depends on the point you are at with the person. If I've only emailed, I'll probably give the person quite a bit of time before considering them a ghost...and an indefinite time during which I'd consider going out with them. Calling on the phone and talking about going out?...if I haven't heard from the person in a couple of weeks, then I'd consider them a ghost. If we're dating and haven't been intimate, I'd give them a week of no contact. If we've been intimate...two or three days TOPS. To be honest, if it's gotten that far, I really like to be in contact every day, but I'll suffer through a couple of days if I'm crazy about someone!
Robyn
I'm the nut job of the board.
When I'm in contact with someone for OLD - I think I can have the expectation that if they are active in OLD that they're checking their email daily. So if they lag more than two days I take that as a definite sign of low interest or I'm being played as a backup to others that they're dating.
Once you're active with someone they tend to have varying degrees of "comfort" as to how frequently they keep in touch. Some people will email you 3 times per day. Some hardly once every three days. Personally I like to email a couple times before the meet -- don't really care if we talk -- then get to a meeting.
I have that exact situation right now - I have someone that I met once -- we're having dinner Wed. She emails maybe every three or four days. That tells me I'm on deck for a tryout but still in the "not sure column".
The only thing that matters in the early stages, imho, is if they disappear. If they email me 3x per day. Call once per day.. etc -- and we haven't met -- it's all irrelevant because as you know until you get face to face nothing really counts (it's all pre-screen).
Based on my OLD history, no matter which stage of the process we're in - email, phone, after first meet, dating for a while - once 3 days of no contact have passed I can say with 100% certainty that it's all over.
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<<<<<<>>>>>>>
IF by intimate you mean sex, as in intercourse, and you really feel that you want to be in contact every day at that point, please don't settle for less!!
If I have had intercourse with a guy, OLD or other, he'd frekin BETTER BE CALLING ME THE VERY NEXT DAY! And if he doesn't, he has a permanent demerit next to his name, and most likely, I won't be doing it again with him.
You are so, so right! If I'm crazy about someone, I tend to go too easy on them...bad habit, I know.
Robyn
I give 'em a week.
If a guy can't find 5 minutes in 7 days to call, text or email me to let me know his entire family died in an earthquake and since he was 137th in line for the throne, he is now being trained on royal etiquette and just doesn't have time to date, he's definitely a ghost.
Edited 2/28/2005 4:12 pm ET ET by sisfox
LMAO
*tears streaming down face*
dang yer funny
Lisa
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