depends on how close you were with the guy and the consistency before. I think if after two weeks of not hearing from the guy, its ghosting.
this guy way back that i met on yahoo personals - disappeared - although not quite ghosting as we talked about on here awhile back... he still disappeared. so after a month, i emailed him to say "hey" lets be friends. I truly did want that. And he wrote back saying he felt like calling me and had beenthinking of me a lot , etc. But he never called because he thought I'd be dating someone else - so he never did. Needless to say he was super happy to see I emailed him. Not for romantic means, but just to say hey.
Anyways, I think in some rare cases, its good to just throw out an email to say "hey what happend". Sometimes people get entirely too busy and drift away - and a 'hey' email would open up the door to continue. But at the same time its hard to get over that resentment of them disappearing,and being able to trust they won't turn around and do it again...
Ouch. That brought back memories of a guy I'd met online. We chatted daily and, for most of the workday(I know, so sue me). After about two weeks, we finally met in person. Walked our dogs at the park and grabbed a coffee. I didn't think the meeting was great but I definitely expected to hear from him again. Nope. After a couple of weeks, I sent him an IM to show interest in friendship. He never replied. I've never contacted a ghost since. When do they become a ghost? I'd say after a week, definitely.
I must agree with surfergirl. A few times I have emailed a guy who had evidently "ghosted" a few weeks earlier. This would be someone who had replied to my first email but not to my second. When I do this (giving him a second chance), he often replies enthusiastically. I think some men are just lacking in self-confidence and some are busy. (I'm talking about men over 45--I can't speak about the younger ones!)
Also, my co-worker said just today, "Men's time is different than women's time," meaning that they perceive time differently...or the need to contact the woman within a certain amount of time. (They need to be trained.)
Let's face it, some of us are just really busy. There are weeks when I don't even return good friends' emails, let alone some stranger on the internet. I actually prefer a little bit of time in between emails because I don't like getting too cozy via email anyway. I want to keep it as impersonal as I can in email and on the phone before we meet. I just don't want to invest too much until I get a feel for the person (which I can't do via email). Whenever I break that rule, I always regret it.
For me, I often go days without responding to a guy online. I'm pretty inconsistent in that regard. Now there have been one or two that I spent way too much time emailing back and forth daily that I ended up regretting giving that much time to upfront.
If they ghost after a few emails back and forth, I don't really care. If they ghost after one or two meetings, that always sucks but that's what dating is for really, which is why I prefer not to invest too much time in anyone prior to meeting them.
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depends on how close you were with the guy and the consistency before. I think if after two weeks of not hearing from the guy, its ghosting.
this guy way back that i met on yahoo personals - disappeared - although not quite ghosting as we talked about on here awhile back... he still disappeared. so after a month, i emailed him to say "hey" lets be friends. I truly did want that. And he wrote back saying he felt like calling me and had beenthinking of me a lot , etc. But he never called because he thought I'd be dating someone else - so he never did. Needless to say he was super happy to see I emailed him. Not for romantic means, but just to say hey.
Anyways, I think in some rare cases, its good to just throw out an email to say "hey what happend". Sometimes people get entirely too busy and drift away - and a 'hey' email would open up the door to continue. But at the same time its hard to get over that resentment of them disappearing,and being able to trust they won't turn around and do it again...
just my two cents.
We chatted daily and, for most of the workday(I know, so sue me).
After about two weeks, we finally met in person. Walked our
dogs at the park and grabbed a coffee. I didn't think the
meeting was great but I definitely expected to hear from
him again. Nope. After a couple of weeks, I sent him
an IM to show interest in friendship. He never replied.
I've never contacted a ghost since. When do they
become a ghost? I'd say after a week, definitely.
I must agree with surfergirl. A few times I have emailed a guy who had evidently "ghosted" a few weeks earlier. This would be someone who had replied to my first email but not to my second. When I do this (giving him a second chance), he often replies enthusiastically. I think some men are just lacking in self-confidence and some are busy. (I'm talking about men over 45--I can't speak about the younger ones!)
Also, my co-worker said just today, "Men's time is different than women's time," meaning that they perceive time differently...or the need to contact the woman within a certain amount of time. (They need to be trained.)
Let's face it, some of us are just really busy. There are weeks when I don't even return good friends' emails, let alone some stranger on the internet. I actually prefer a little bit of time in between emails because I don't like getting too cozy via email anyway. I want to keep it as impersonal as I can in email and on the phone before we meet. I just don't want to invest too much until I get a feel for the person (which I can't do via email). Whenever I break that rule, I always regret it.
For me, I often go days without responding to a guy online. I'm pretty inconsistent in that regard. Now there have been one or two that I spent way too much time emailing back and forth daily that I ended up regretting giving that much time to upfront.
If they ghost after a few emails back and forth, I don't really care. If they ghost after one or two meetings, that always sucks but that's what dating is for really, which is why I prefer not to invest too much time in anyone prior to meeting them.
Pages