When to tell..........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
When to tell..........
2
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 7:55pm

This has been asked before, I'm sure. I feel the need to ask for myself and my own situation. :)

I'm 24 and a virgin by choice. I've had opportunities, but turned them down because I didn't love the person or it didn't feel right. I also have strong morals on the subject; however, I feel that if I met the right person I'd be willing to give myself to them.

What time, if any, is the right time to tell someone you're dating that you're a virgin and why? I really don't think there's a right answer but I'm interested in all the different views people have on this topic.

Thank you for your advice! :)

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 9:57pm

I was in a similar situation, and approached it gradually over the course of the relationship. First, by explaining that I wasn't ready to be in a sexual relationship when it seemed that he was ready for one. Then, by explaining what sex meant to me, and asking what it meant to him. I was eventually comfortable enough to talk about the fact that it would be my first time, and yes, I was nervous. But the first guy I slept with was extremely open and honest when it came to discussing sex, and that made all the difference in our relationship, both before and after we had sex together.

So I guess my advice is to be honest, and as your relationship progresses, it should be something that you feel comfortable discussing as a part of who you are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 11:23am

My thoughts on this is you will know each time when to say something. I would highly recommend that you are very careful with your body language and flirting until you tell him so you aren't branded a "tease". By now you should know the difference between flirting sexually and just plain flirting.

If you really like someone then its only fair that you inform him in a manner that will demand respect. Just remember never lead anyone on.

WC