When they ask why...
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| Sun, 10-30-2005 - 5:19pm |
Ok, I had someone email me through yahoo even though I had hidden my profile. I don't remember contacting this person in the past, either. Perhaps a glitch?
Anyway, I replied back using the quick reply "Sorry, but I don't think we'd make a good match" & he wrote back "why not?"
*SIGH*
Why, do men tend to ask this? I NEVER ask a guy if he says no thanks because I figure he has a valid reason. After all, I know that I'm not attractive to everyone, so it's no big deal. Why do men do this?
Anyway, I wrote back, giving him the 2 reasons why. The first is that he is 43 & I'm 31. He's an OLD looking 43, too. Plus, I didn't find him attractive, so I told him he wasn't my physical type, but wished him luck.
I'd bet money that I get some sort of hateful or sarcastic retort. I don't want to block him because I'm curious as to how/if he'll respond to the truth he probably can't handle anyway since he asked in the first place.
MEN! LOL!

FWIW, you can't really hide your profile on Yahoo...if he'd saved your profile before you made it unsearchable, for example, you would still show up.
Anyway, responses like that are one element of the reason I never respond if I'm not interested.
You're kind of a glutton for punishment responding back and not blocking him, aren't you ;-)?
Sheri
LOL! I just have to share this because it's exactly what happened to you, but with the addition at the end :P
I was logged in on Lava because I've been exchanging emails with this guy, and I wanted to send him one back. Meanwhile, this other guy starts an instant message with me (I REALLY hate that about Lava...it's so intrusive!). We talk for a bit, and I find out he's a few years younger than me, and he LIED in his profile about his college graduation year!!
He asks if I use MSN, and I say 'yes I do', and then he's silent for a bit and then says 'well you obviously don't want to give it to me!!'. So I reply, 'well you never asked me, and I don't think we'd be a good match'. Of course he asks 'why is that??'
This was soon after I read your post, so I was contemplating even saying anything, but since we're on this darn instant messanger I feel like I should be honest, so I say that he's too young for me, plus he's not local (he lives in another city about 1hr away). Then I said thanks for the message, and wished him good luck with his search. Then he replies "but my family lives in London" (which is where I live)...like that's going to change my mind!
I can't believe that he didn't GET my response was a light way of telling him to stop talking to me! So, I said again "thanks, and good luck with your search!"...and then he replies "you know, you're really rude!!"...and then I logged off.
I can't believe these guys...they want you to tell them why you don't want to go further along with them, and then they get mad when you do! I feel like sending him an email telling him that he's going to need a lot thicker skin than that if he's going to get anywhere on OLD.
ARGH!!! LOLOL
Alyssa
Every oncce in a while if I get a fantastic letter; they really pulled things out of my proifile and responded but am not feeling it I will write them back saying thank you but am not feeling that connection back. Otherwise I don't respond to those who write I'm not interested in.
The only time I suggest writing back "why" is like the case above, they really took their time and seem like such a nice person or you get them on the phone and you're simply not clicking (last night I sent a follow up email saying that I thought they were nice but we weren't really clicking on the phone so good luck so I'm not leaving him hanging as he asked to speak to me again) or you go out once or twice and something is not there then I either send an email or if they ask me out again tell them on the phone. It's not easy but I'm hoping the more forthcoming I am dating the more of it I will get back.
Cheers,
SP