When they don't have a pic

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
When they don't have a pic
24
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 1:38pm

How do you handle winks when they don't have a pic on their profile?

I'm so sick of it, I just send an email with a blunt "got a pic?".

Is that just too rude? I just don't have the energy to send anything more tactful.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 4:08pm

I totally agree with you!!

If you have your pic up - it isn't fair that they aren't sharing what they look like!

There has to be some kind of an attraction - physically anyways before you can even get started!

I think that just sending a message back with that may be just a bit blunt, but maybe you could say, thanks for the wink - but do you have a pic?

Does that make sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 8:36pm
I ignore winks without pics....I feel that there's usually a reason they don't have their picture up, and it's ususally not a good one (reason, that is).
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 10:31pm

I totally agree. I believe in fairness. I don't ever email back to anyone who don't have a pic. He wouldn't be emailing me or winking at me if he hasn't seen my pic. Especially the guy is cute, he has no reason not to put up his pic.

In my opinion, it's the hiding from their significant others. everuyone is using OLD so they don't want people to know they are up to no good. I belive that if you are genuinely looking for a partner then why not put up a pic so you can get more chances!

One important thing I learned from OLD was that if the guy hid his profile and still emailing you, chances are he has a wife/gf but still wants to fool around. Don't ever repsond to the guy who has a hidden profile and contacting you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 10:45pm
I used to be polite and reply back nicely but they don't take no for an answer. They usually email me back..why? almost all the guys. Sometimes they are rude, loud, and A-holes. They just can't take rejection well.
So now I am a b**ch. I can be nice and well-mannered but most of the time it's not worth replying back. Just hit the delete button. Next!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 9:16am

I must be in the minority here, but I don't think men are hiding something because they don't have their picture up. I don't - simply because like it or not, there is still a stigma attached to online dating. I don't want my family, friends, coworkers, and vendors seeing me - because I know people who surf the dating sites just to find people to make fun of. It's simply not true that anyone who sees someone they know on a dating site is there for the same reason.

That being said, I do get a lot of requests for pictures and I ask to see a lot of pictures. It's never been an issue, even when I was doing the online dating thing back in college and NO ONE had pictures up, because even on a campus of 30,000 people, everyone was too scared to be seen. It's nothing to be sick of, just an extra five minute step.

I do wish that match had a backstage feature like on lava, though...







iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2005
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 7:40am
Ignore it. Winks are from those who don't usually pay, so they are a dime a dozen anyway. If they can't post a picture, they are not worth the time of day. I know that sound cruel, but in the online dating world, you don't want any surprises later on when you meet. The only way you can see a window into their world is by having a picture. They would want that from you I am sure..in fact very sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2005
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 9:25am

<<>>

Taina - can you give me an idea of what you say? This happened to me yesterday and I don't want to hurt his feelings but I also don't want to pursue it. Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 2:03pm
I respond depending on the situation, and if I have to tell a little white lie to spare feelings that's o.k. If you can't come up with something good, then tell him you met someone and are actively persuing it. I would never tell someone they are not attractive or that I'm not attracted to them. That's mean and hurtful. Also, another poster mentioned that she tries and they give her a hard time, I never had that happen to me, if anything I have the opposite, men writting me and thanking me for having the decency to respond. If anybody got nasty though belive me I have no trouble ripping out new body parts :-)My philosphy is be nice first and if they get nasty then it's on! I've never gotten rude or nasty first, I have standards and I won't lower them just because a lot of old men are rude and nasty, dosen't mean I have to be too, but if provoked I must defend myself.
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2005
Sun, 11-27-2005 - 12:11pm
Doesn't sound rude to me, especially if it's just a wink.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 11:46am
This morning I got this Yahoo icebreaker: Wow! You're cute... From a guy with no pic. The irony of that made me laugh, but I also wished I was a subscriber so I could email him back and tell him what an idiot he was.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting