When Women Make More Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2004
When Women Make More Money
5
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 10:00am

I haven't been on this site for months, but I recently moved to a new city, which created a new situation ...


I make a pretty good salary.

Stephanie, CL of the Dating as a Single Parent board: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-p

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 10:45am
I have this same problem. I do date men who make less than me. It's impossible not to. Besides, money doesn't make a man. You'd be excluding a lot of potentially great men if you chose income level as your deal breaker. With that being said, it is a reality that it may cause problems down the road, but a secure guy will not be bothered by this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 10:01pm

ive got this senario right now. i thought i'd never be ok with this, but i am. its a little issue as opposed to a dealbreaker like I had thought before this guy. The issue I have w/ this guy is the fact he doesn't work. He is in college finishing up his degree. And I give him props for that. But, he is lazy and doesn't seem to find it important to hold a job. I'd so be ok if he worked at starbucks, at least he was being responsible. thats another story though ;).

I think if a guy has a steady position, good job, and is educated, you'll be fine. But giving up some of those expensive dates like you were accustomed to will be a change. It was for me, and is. I live in SF, so I know the dating scene you were in before you moved. Even now, I make more than some guys in the area. I dated an i-banker for a month - and the $ was flowing on dates, but honestly - the only difference between he and the guy Im with now... is the dinners and other smaller fu/fu items that the guy Im with now probably wouldn't be able to afford.

if i had to choose, I'd choose the dude now bc I can live w/o expensive dinners and other little fu/fu things the i-banker gave to me. You find the other things are more important is what i'm babbling about! =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 9:21am

Hi Stepanie,

Just had to add my 2 cents. My opinion is that sometimes it's not so important how much a guys makes....it's how well he MANAGES what he makes. To me, that indicates how responsible (or irresponsible) he is. There is a difference between a guy who spends every dime he makes and one who plans for the future, no matter how much he makes. I dated a guy who was of the former category. Once I realized that if I married him I'd be paying for his kid's college education (because he hadn't saved a dime) AND his retirement (he hadn't saved a dime for that either), I said "no thanks"

ABM

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:35am

I'm not sure that I can express this properly, but I'll try.

Stephanie, CL of the Dating as a Single Parent board: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-p

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 3:15pm

hi stephanie, thats what I was trying to say in my post. The only thing that ive found missing is the fact i dont get taken to expensive dinners. Everything else doesn't seem to matter so much. It makes sense in similiar backgrounds and a salary is a good way to see this - or is it? I really don't think that will tell you what kind of background. ive met many men who make lots of $ now, but grew up in a less fortunate household... just depends.

So no I dont think you should use salary as a way to see if a guy has a similiar background for you. And if you make more $ than the guy, that comes down to your preference and how well you think those men will deal with it. I think the background thing is irrevelant with salaries.

good luck!