Where is he??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2005
Where is he??
23
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 1:49pm

I'm sort of new to this board, but I'd like some opinions on whether I'm doing the right thing or not...

I started seeing this guy about 4 weeks ago. We've had a couple of dates that have gone great. I think we have a lot in common and both seem headed in the same direction in life. Our last date lasted pretty much all night long and he ended up staying over merely because he lives 45 minutes from my place and it was 3:30am. He got up early, kissed me goodbye and left the next morning.

I didn't hear from him until 3 days later when he called me to say he wanted to see me over the weekend, but wasn't sure if had the time as he had a ton of work to do around his house and didn't know how long it would take him. I said to call me when he knew what he had going on.

Saturday morning came and I hadn't heard from him so I emailed to see if he'd be available or not because I wanted to make plans with my girlfriends if he wasn't. He emailed back and said Saturday was not good, but Sunday "might" work or we could get together Tuesday for some drinks. Both Sunday and Tuesday I was busy so I emailed that neither of those nights were good but offered reasoning why and said I was free Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. Well, I haven't heard from his since. I called him on Tuesday night and got his VM. Left a short message saying hi and to call me back when he had a chance. Still no reply.

Not to defend him or anything, but he's a HUGE sports fan and baseball has been on almost every night this week. He warned me of the sports addiction right up front so I could see him being busy with that the last couple of days. I'm just annoyed that, if he is still interested, why can't he write me a quick email to say hi or something. I'm not a high maintenance girl and I understand being busy. I just don't think anyone is so busy they can't take 2 minutes out of their day to make some sort of contact, especially since I was the last to both email and call. The ball is obviously in his court.

In any case, I've decided to give him up until tonight to get in touch, if not, then hasta la sports fan! I spent too many years with a man who ignored me and I refuse to let it happen again. Am I being too rash? Should I give him more time or am I right to give him THE BOOT!?

Thanks for listening ladies!
Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
In reply to: meghanvl
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 3:56pm

Personally, I would move on to other fish...if he is acting this way during baseball playoffs and you've just met then think about how it will be in three years (assuming your still together) and he is really comfortable in the relationship....men don't change. if hes a sports nut and your a widow now then you will always be one. At one month into the relationship he should still be on his best behavior..calling to say hello, making plans to see you, or at the least calling to say he is too busy.......

for example my guy got home one night at 9:30 pm (he had a project/deadline that he was working on) He still called to say hello. The last two days I have been out of town for business..working 12 hour days..I still called him the first night and he called me the next....we have been dating since labor day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
In reply to: meghanvl
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 4:38pm

<< Do you think that may have been a factor? If so, then he really is a scum bag!>>

Quite honestly it could have been a factor. We women are damned if we do and we're damned if we don't. Either way - you didn't sleep with him, you were a perfect lady - and if he can't see that then he isn't worth your time. Find someone who will treat you like you were meant to be treated.

Please keep us posted & Good Luck.

Maryanne

hello
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: meghanvl
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 5:12pm
But wait a minute he asked her out again AFTER that so I doubt that is a factor.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
In reply to: meghanvl
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 7:07pm
You're right! But why is he suddenly too busy? I hate when guys do this. Can we get a guys opinion on this please.
hello
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2005
In reply to: meghanvl
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 7:43am

Guess what?! Yup! No phone call last night!

I sent him an email this morning. Very short and to the point. It basically said, seeing as he hasn't contacted me in over a week I'm guessing he isn't interested anymore. I wished him luck in his search and that was it.

Thanks for all your input ladies! I'm way too good for him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2005
In reply to: meghanvl
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 8:20am
Damn Straight!
Feel good. And be thankful. That this schmuck is no longer wasting your time, so you now have the time to find someone who will be good for you. And knows how to pick up a phone once in awhile.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: meghanvl
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 9:43am

Meg,

>this schmuck is no longer wasting your time
>so you now have the time to find someone
>who will be good for you. And knows how to
>pick up a phone once in awhile

I completely agree. You did the right thing because he isn't into you (and I think he is a moron). If he was into you (and had half a brain) he would call to arrange a date when he *can* see you, not when he can't. Only a complete idiot would say "I'd like to see you this weekend but I might not be able to". Plus, he didn't even have the courtesy to follow up, you had to chase him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: meghanvl
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 9:55am
Thanks for all the support. I know I did the right thing. You guys are awesome!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: meghanvl
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 9:59am

Oops! Posted under my other name by accident. I like this one better anyway! Thanks again!

Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
In reply to: meghanvl
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 11:55am
Yep! You are too good for him. His Loss!
hello