Where is he??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Where is he??
13
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 8:52am

Hey y'all!
I just wanted to vent a lil bit! I find myself asking myself these days: where is the man who's meant for me? Huh? Where is the WHOLE package? I've given this OLD thing a try for a while now...this doesn't mean that I don't meet men the 'conventional' way (though those guys usually turn out to be jerks). The whole package for me is: intelligent, attractive, driven, stable (mentally), sense of humor (but not a clown), tall (I'm 5'9")...is this too much to ask?
I'm not desperate to meet a man; I'm happy: good job, Grad student working towards a goal, independent, attractive. It's not that I'm desperate. I'm just tired of meeting the same ol' guys over and over again. Either they're looking for quick sex, they're lazy and complacent, they're immature, or they're inconsiderate. Why can't I just meet a decent guy? I wonder if maybe it's that my standards are too high? I don't know...

As an aside: why can't I meet a man like my doctor?!? He's handsome, young, intelligent, and not married?? I've had a crush on him for a while now. Oh well...

Just venting on a Wednesday morning....have a great day!
Mali




Edited 4/20/2007 3:10 pm ET by mali2579

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: mali2579
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 9:55am

I think its time to change docs AND then ask yours OUT!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 10:19am

Hey!
I'm 27, never married, no kids....just me!
I wish I could ask him out! He's adorable. He's a sports medicine doc, so he's not my primary care physician; I'll only be his patient for a short time. I have a knee injury, and he's treating me for it. I thought about it.....I'm afraid, though. Don't want to get my feelings hurt when he tells me that he's already taken or, worse, that he's not interested!

Mali

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 2:02pm

Of course this is advise that I probably wouldn't have listened to when I was single, but you've got nothing to lose by asking that doctor out! Why not just ask him if he wants to get a drink to celebrate your healed knee during your last appointment? I know it's easy for me to say, but you should go for it! You never know, right?

BTW, I don't think your standards are too high at all. It's tough out there, I know, I was a serial dater for solid year (we're talking 3+ different dates each week). But, there are good men and I'm sure you'll find one!

Try to enjoy the "journey," good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 4:39pm

Hey!
Thanks for the insight. I'll continue on my journey towards my Mr. Right. I'm faithful that I'll find him one day, whether it's online or face to face.

As far as Dr. McDreamy, I've decided to continue to dream. I don't have the courage to do it, and I don't want to do anything to make him feel uncomfortable. Besides, he's a really good doctor and I don't want to have to switch doctors if he were to turn me down!
I'll just continue to look forward to those 10 minute visits...where I can gaze into those eyes! LOL!

Thanks again!
Mali

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
In reply to: mali2579
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 5:54pm

you are 'afraid' to ask a man that you are crushing on if he is single and available because you don't want your feelings hurt?

Ok - do you want to find the man you want or do you prefer sparing the 'possibility' of getting hurt feelings? If you WANT something, then have the courage to go for it.

Poeple who are successful and get what they want are people who do it afraid. They set a goal and do what isnecessary to get their, hurt feelings be damned.

Anything worth having involves some risk - and having a great love is no exception. If you aren't willing to risk getting hurt, then how it begs teh question of how much do you really want love?

Just food for thought. You can't hold onto fearful and negative (why can't I...?) thinking and be a success. If you want something - focus on finding it and doing your part to get there.

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2007
In reply to: mali2579
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 1:27am
You don't have to ask him out, but can bring him a little gift (maybe an interesting CD) so that he knows you are interested in him more than just being his patient. Write a card, thank him for the treatment, etc. Flirt a little when you see him. And also mention some sporting event that you plan on doing, 10k run for example, if he is interested, he would get the hint.
I have done this in the past. It worked for me. You don't have to ask the man out, just giving hints that you maybe interested in getting him better. If he is, he would ask...
Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
In reply to: mali2579
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 1:37am
How about asking him out on your last visit to him so then if he says no then you won't have to be his patient after that. I don't think you have anything to lose on this IF you ask him at your last visit KWIM ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
In reply to: mali2579
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 2:15am

"Don't want to get my feelings hurt when he tells me that he's already taken or, worse, that he's not interested!"
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Bah! Right now, you're not dating your doctor. If you ask and he says "no", then guess what- you're STILL not dating your doctor. But if you ask and he says "I thought you'd never ask, it would be totally inappropriate for me to hit on a patient but since you asked it's cool", well... ;)

So. Once your time with him as a patient is nearly done, just make it obvious that you'd love for him to ask you out. Like, jot down your name and number on a piece of paper, and when it's time to go shake his hand and then say "listen, this might be a bit out of line, but I would love to see you on a non-patient basis" and give him the number.

Trust me, it's not nearly as hard as it seems, and if it turns out he's not interested you won't hear from him and it's no big deal. But if he IS interested, you've certainly opened the door, and walking through is up to him.

Guys don't mind this, believe me. We would love to see more women doing it. Yeah, we still need to be the one doing the "chasing" and asking women out on dates, but it makes life considerably less complicated if the woman makes it clear "Yes, ask me out!" :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: mali2579
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 3:03am
Cripes! What is WITH you today hjntiy!?!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
In reply to: mali2579
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 5:30am

"Cripes! What is WITH you today hjntiy!?! I agree with THIS one too!"
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You know what they say... sometimes even the blind squirrel finds a nut. :)

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