who is right and who is wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
who is right and who is wrong?
Tue, 12-10-2013 - 8:03pm

I am curious to see your comments about an email correspondence I had.  I live 40 minutes north of New York City and this guy from eastern Long Island emailed me (Mineola).  I think a car ride will be almost 2 hours between us, not to mention a bridge and toll.  So this guy emailed me and all he said was "You have nice profile in everyway."  I just replied thank you because I have manners.  He replies back and says this:

"I admire that you read ~ that's great ... Did you get much snow up in ABC town?"

Now to be honest, I got a lot of emails today from guys 2 hours away.  Do they not even pay attention to where women live?  The thought has not occured to them to check google maps or mapquest?  I guess I was in a bad mood but this is what I replied:

"Yes I love to read. I have also read on your profile that you are from Long Island. Do you like to read map books? We are hours apart. Sorry, but I am not interested. Good luck in your search and happy holidays"

His reply "All I said is you have a nice profile and you read that I was interested from that??? If I was I would of said I find you georgeous let's get together ~ but I did not ~ Merry Christmas and an extra good luck to you!"

My reply:  "why bother emailing someone then? to waste your time and the recipient's time?  Ok, extra good luck to you too"

What do you all think?  Do guys email women if they are not interested / want to be pen pals?  Did my reply catch him off guard and that is why he said what he did in his reply?  Just curious.  Thank you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-10-2013 - 8:58pm

I think many men email women when they aren't interested in ever meeting (and I suppose women do it too--all I can go on is my experience with men).  I don't see why you had to be rude about it--there are some people who wouldn't be against a relationship where the person is 2 hours away--heck, there are people who would fly across the country to meet someone.  Recently I got an email from a guy in southern NH and I live South of Boston so we are 1.5 to 2 hrs apart--but he did say that he comes to Boston sometimes for business.  I just wasn't that interested.  Oh and the primary subject of his emails seemed to be what kind of music I liked (cause I said that I sing & play the piano).  I think when you responded the way you did, the guy just had to save face so that's why he said he wasn't interested.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 12-10-2013 - 8:27pm

  There are so many reasons.  Many women do the same thing.  Some keep thinking like they were teenagers an some one would trave 3 hrs to see them.  Most are not interested in someone who is geographal undesirable.