Who should email first?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Who should email first?
4
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 12:01pm
Do men like it if a woman emails them first? Or is the woman expected to wait, hoping the guy will notice her profile and email? I figure since I'm paying for my subscription, I should make use of the services. I don't smile or wink or whatever you call it depending on the site because I'd rather cut to the chase and talk to the guy instead. My emails are short and non-committal, and I usually ask something that I know about and that he mentions in his profile. Am I choosing the wrong approach?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 12:08pm

Is the approach working for you? If it is, then it's the right one.

Keep in mind, many of us OLDers have spent a good deal of money on people who aren't interested. Winking or Smiling is used to generate interest, without cost. If someone does show interest the cost of emailing might be worth it.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 12:11pm

Most of the men I've dated from online for any length of time have been men I approached first, whether by email or by sending a wink. So, no, I don't think that's the wrong approach. I prefer to send a wink these days, because I like to see if there's interest before I bother with an email, but I don't think a short email would put a guy off if he was otherwise interested in your profile.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 12:29pm
Oh, I just subscribed a couple of days ago so I don't know if it's working yet. I've done on-line dating before but it was for a month here and a month there so I'm not sure how it works in the long-term. I wrote to one guy Thursday evening and haven't heard back since so I don't know how long I am expected to wait to see if he's interested. I usually wait a day to two days depending on how busy I am to respond to men's emails. With the number of men I'm getting who live far away from me (even though I requested that they be local), who are outside of my age range and who don't meet my requirements even by a longshot, I feel like I have to contact some men who I have some possibilities with or my subscription is a waste. I also find it interesting how guys my age seem to not be that interested in me on-line even though I get guys my age and younger in real life since I look about 5 years younger than I am. All I get is older men on-line who would sound like and who look more like my father if I stood next to them. Not sure what to make of it...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 1:25pm

We share the same experience with men in real life vs. online! I think most of us do. Which is why I play that well-worn recording: meet in real life asap, as everyone is different online!

If a guy is not interested, whether you email or just send a wink will make no difference. So why not save some money? That's just the way I look at it.

Congratulations on being proactive, BTW. No point in sitting around waiting to be contacted first.

Good luck!!
amjay