Why cant Carlos just be a jerk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Why cant Carlos just be a jerk?
16
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 4:47am

We have been talking maybe twice a week - platonically.

Photobucket

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 11:17am

Easy - stop calling him.


I never understood this - if you break up with someone because you have different wants and expectations you don't go from THAT to being buddies - sorry, one or the other wants more. Your secretly hoping he changes his mind but that's not going to happen. The guy isn't going to be hanging out with you and your new BF during the weekend and the new BF will not appreciate it.


I can tell you this, if my BF

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 12:28pm

Peanut,

For some of us-it's easier said than done. She's emotionally attached and that could take time to let go. Not all of us can cut ties so easily. Why is there a problem with wanting to be happy-even if it's spending time with someone you don't love-but enjoy? Lighten up alittle bit.....until your happy with yourself.....

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 12:50pm

I agree with SP that stopping contact with him for the time being is a good idea. Until you're completely over him, it's best for you not to be in touch with him. He's NOT a jerk, that's why you liked being with him so much, but he doesn't want the same things as you so that's why you had to end it and that's why it's hard to be friends at THIS point (at some point in the future, once you're over him, you'll probably be able to handle it with no problem). Why put yourself through the pain?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 1:01pm

I stand by my opinion – this post she wrote proves it

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 1:29pm
It is easier said than done and sometimes you just have to force yourself to do it no matter how hard it is just so you can move on. I agree with small peanut in that rlch should let him go as a friend until there are no more feelings there because it takes awhile to grieve and get over someone and get past the denial phase. If we hang on to someone it keeps us in a "stuck place". I'm sorry to hear about your frustrations rlch and hugs to you. It's hard when you really have a connection with someone and they just aren't ready, you almost want to shake some sense into them. But the reality is that you can't. Maintaining no contact is the hardest but best thing to do in this situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 3:21pm

Ok- i will try to take your word for it that this ISNT mean to be mean, harsh or judgemental ... b/c it sure comes off that way.


"I never understood this - if you break up with someone because you have different wants and expectations you don't go from THAT to being buddies - sorry, one or the other wants more" - I dont agree with this. If I break up with someone b/c they are a jerk, not a good person, etc - then most certainly,

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 3:23pm
Thank you for your understanding & support.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 3:25pm

Thanks Sher.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 3:30pm

Thanks for your words & understanding. Same as to Sheri, take a peek at my "explanation" in my response to SP.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 3:44pm

We can respectively agree to disagree on this issue as your initial post proves my point and you can’t now talk your way out of it, you still have those feelings for him but oh well, your life not mine!

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu

Pages