Why Do Guys Do This ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Why Do Guys Do This ?
22
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 11:27am

It's been awhile since I've been on the site. I wanted to get your views about a situation that I don't understand. I have a friend (male) who is engaged and lives with his finance. They have been together for 2 yrs. He had been on a couple of dating sites before they met. He is STILL on two sites!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 8:04pm

Are you not making an assumption?
When one does not know the situation then it is very unwise to interfere.

>A man who has nothing to hide hides nothing<<
Because he has nothing!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Tue, 06-15-2010 - 8:14pm
Online dating sites are addictive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 7:37am

Thanks for your opinion. I agree 100% with your comments. The whole intent of the post was to get opinions about this type of behavior. I'm glad someone else can see the pain and sadness that this kind of behavior can have on others. Yes, the age of the internet is a wonderful thing. But, like many other good things there are always people that will turn the good thing into bad. Maybe if lie detectors could be included on OLD sites people could weed out the cheats and liers before it's too late. Well, I know that won't happen so as you said....beware.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 11:04am
This is probably going to be a tich off topic, but it does have to do with people who should not be on dating sites. I've read so
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 5:49pm

I can turn on Judge Judy or any court show and see this same story any day of the week.


You made your own problems.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 6:13pm

Just my 2 cents. But, I'm also getting frustrated with the games online. Too gullable to consider that all the many available/longterm seeking men are already in a relationship. I'm fortunate as now that I've OLD'ed for over a year, most men look past me probably thinking I'm too much used goods or jaded. Wow, really getting serious time to re-charge. One thing I realized is that we all attract to ourselves what's basically on our minds. So, if the guy's a cheater, or a player, chances are he'll attract likewise, and get hurt in his own right. Guess my mind's very blank lol. Karma's alway's going to happen sooner or later.


I am perplexed by people who say we should just mind our own business. IMHO, sometimes if we stick our noses in something, changes can happen, perhaps positive changes. I.e. people should torch and/or bring to court BP, but the powers that be make us mind our own business. The powers that be - mostly men - love complacency and demand it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 8:48pm
I wasn't surprised that you commented on what tigeress2004 posted. You keep saying that the posts aren't about OLD. I'd be interested in hearing some of your OLD experiences. I can only imagine what you must be like in person if your comments reflect your personality!!! So why don't you give us something to give our opinions about other then your negative attitude about everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 5:50pm

Well tburgundy, unless every human has a crystal ball or is totally psychic, the possibility of a person making a bad choice is pretty high.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 10:09pm

No, your not old-fashion, I'd consider this looking to cheat, if he were my fiance. If the woman were my friend, I'd at least mention it to her (once). If she was not, I probably wouldn't mention it, but it would change my view of the guy. Someone who really cares about their partner would not be out on dating sites.

Who knows why he does it, but it's wrong in my book. He's not available. It sucks that there are guys out there like this, but there are. A-holes!!

p.s. - quite the commentary you got going on your post - almost like a little soap opera, and highly entertaining ;0

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 7:35am
People helping and caring about other people is what makes this world go-round!! The more info that a person can get (good or bad) about a problem or question they have, will hopefully help them to make a good choice. That's why I started the question. Maybe just one person that is doing OLD will not get sucked into the fantasy world of OLD addiction and deceive someone. I can only hope....lol!