I have been on Match for a couple of months now.
I think you've got it right. I'm in the "don't ask, don't tell" camp. It's not lying, it's just more graceful. I think it's perfectly acceptable early on to just say you have other plans. I once met a very boring man for a lunch date from OLD, who at the end of a humorless meal murmured something about nice to meet you, but I have some other women I need to meet. I mean, why tell me that? I didn't care in this case because I didn't want to see him either.
Then there was the man I never met because for one, he felt the need to tell me about a woman he met from OLD and dated for a year who had a perfect body. OK, he was being honest, but geez.
I agree with you. I was turned off by a guy who e-mailed me and spoke to me on the phone because he was supposed to call me at a specific time one night. He didn't. The next day he said he had to help his grown daughter with her college homework. Somehow he came out with the truth that he had been on a date with someone, but she wasn't his type, as she had a lot of tatoos.I, too, know that people are communicating or dating with others, but it should be a don't ask don't tell policy. It's unpleasant hearing about it. I did not go on a date with this man. I had lost interest after his confession.
Maybe some people don't mind about a person telling them about their dates, but I think the safest policy is to just say you have plans if asked. It's nobody's business about where you are going or with whom until you are accountable to another person and are already in a relationship with them. Good luck in finding a good one. I finally did after 2 and a half years of frustrating and ridiculous experiences. In the end, I can laugh about it now.
No, I disagree.
I think that he was just very honest and upfront with you. Dating can be crazy. Whatever you do DO NOT GIVE UP! I found someone and she is the love of my life. I did not meet her until I was at wits end with dating. I met her by changing my whole outlook on dating.
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I find his honesty refreshing....we all know when we meet people online that they are searching for a partner just as we all are so dating other people should never be a surprise.
I don't find this weird at all, just honest.
I actually completely agree with you with meeting up as quick as possible.
I can see both sides of this issue and I do not think there is a right and a wrong way to it. Some people are all about putting it all upfront and simply telling the other person if they have another date. Others will not tell the other person when they have a date.
Its not like the people that will tell, go out of their way to make sure that you know they have another date, but it comes up like "what are you doing tonight"?, then they are honest and say I have a date. I do not think they are trying to rub your nose in it or trying to get you to redouble your efforts at wooing them, they are just pointing out the white elephant in the dating room, that you two are not exclusive and are dating others.
In your particular situation, you had not even met yet and you carried on quite a bit of conversation. I say why mess around with so much texting and emailing before you meet. Just a few emails back and forth to figure out if it is worth meeting and if you both determine it is, then meet ASAP.