Why does he have to be such a sweetheart

Avatar for born2luv
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Why does he have to be such a sweetheart
4
Wed, 07-23-2003 - 11:45pm
I finally ran into Walter again today. The Post Office was empty of customers and we ended up talking for nearly an hour! The more I talk to him, and get to know him, the more I really like him. Darn...

I started up the conversation asking about any "nightlife" in our small town, and he just kept talking and talking. But I only asked about the "nightlife" and he kept bringing the conversation back to me finding a man, and dating. We both shared a lot of our interests, and he seemed determined to "help" me...

I found out more about who he is, like that he is from the Caribbean, and he loves to dance. {swoon!} But whether he was married just never came up. I was going to ask him right out, but he kept talking and I never got the chance - ok, so I'm a chicken! I did note though that when he talked about places he'd gone or things he'd done, he only said "I" - never "we". Don't most couples say "we"?

I also told him about trying online dating, and he asked more about that, how it works, etc. He said that he could never do that. That when he wants time to get to know someone, to spend in-person time, talking and finding out who they are. Sounded awfully single to me...

Almost everything we talked about, our ideas and thoughts were so similar. We laughed, teased and joked together, it was so comfortable talking to him. The other guy kept leaving us alone, and going off to do things.

Walter got protective of me too. He was concerned about the idea of me dating, giving me advice on men, safe places to go, what to watch out for. He was telling me about one place, that he was sure it was safe, never had any trouble. He said that if I went there and had any trouble, I was to come tell him. So I teased him, "and what will you do about it??" So he says, "I will go beat them up, and tell them off for treating you badly!" Funny, coming from a man I really barely know! {smile}

But after all that talking, and with giving him lots of openings (using things he said), he still never asked me out. Men are so-o confusing!!

~*~ Catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 8:33am
I would move on - it's not confusing, he's just not that into you beyond friendship - he has already covneyed to you that he knows exactly what he wants when it comes to the dating process - obviously he has asked women out - this is not a shy person who wants to hide in a profile on the internet - sure - give it one more chance for him to see you and have an opportunity to ask you out or get your number - as in a 3 minute "hello how are you" conversation - but if he let you get away without your number (would you risk that since you might never come in during his shift again??) then he is just not that into you - at this point - and chatting him up more won't increase the interest - a 2 minute hello - don't talk about dating - or men - might but for now just enjoy it as a harmless flirtation. and watch that episode of sex and the city where carrie's boyfriend explains that men are not confusing - if this type of situation happens - he's just not that into you, and then - guess what - you are free to find Mr. Right!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 9:52am
Well, I am happy for you Catherine, but you need to really find out the scoop. If he is married or not? That is rather important, dont you think? I would guess he could lie, but try and find that out before you get all go-go-ga-ga over him once more. He sounds like an interesting fellow no doubt, but more information might help you to determine whether you should pursue him or not. Now, I am not saying you should not be friends with a man if he is married, but it does help to determine a few things. IF he is not, well then....you know what needs to happen. You need to get that man to take you dancing and swoon all night long!!!!!!!!

lol

Goodluck and keep us posted!


Gail:)

Avatar for linds8300
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 10:04am
*sigh* Men, some just can't get the hint! Lol....next time your there, be sure to slip hiim your phone number ;) Maybe he just didn't want to say anything b/c of the other guy that was working there. It seems like he's interested, some guys are just shy. Good luck!

Lindsay

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Avatar for born2luv
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 10:11am
At this point, I am going on the assumption that he is probably married, and there is just the possibility of a good friendship - though only over the Post Office counter. I wouldn't risk more of a friendship than that with a married man, unless his wife was with us.

But I have been spending a lot of time figuring out what I =don't= want in a man, and yesterday I saw in him the qualities I =do= want. That is very helpful, because I think I have been focusing too much on the negatives so far.

So whether or not he is the "one", I think knowing him even as a friend will be nice...

~*~ Catherine