Why does he stop calling?-Article

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Why does he stop calling?-Article
5
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 2:17pm

I found this article interesting.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 12:47pm

I agree – just like when we’re dating. I had a date last Friday with a guy – VERY nice body, seems to have great values but he’s a single dad who has his daughter every weekend (not every OTHER) but every weekend in addition to belonging to a hockey league and baseball league every Sat and Sun AM – my mind starts racing like wow, that means if he has his daughter every Sat night and these leagues in the AM no spontaneous weekend get aways or time for US – since I do have “options” I’ll pass – it was hard because I kept saying want to leave and he’s like no that’s ok….I’m like arg, hard to get out gracefully sometimes as we only met for drinks. Oh and his cell phone kept going off which he kept answering – he apologized but its like don’t apologize turn it off. So keep that in mind, a million things could be going thru your dates mind just as yours.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 10:06pm

I have a BIG problem with Number 5...

"But that doesn’t mean he wants you acting so comfortable it feels like he’s hanging with his college roommate, either. ..Are you griping about your indigestion, cramps, or what your shrink said during your last session? These, dear ladies, are mood-killers and you gain nothing from telling him about these things—at any point in a relationship."

Hold up. Why, then, is it perfectly acceptable for men to fart, scratch themselves, not wear deodorant or shower, not shave, miss the toilet, not clean up after themselves... NEED I GO ON?

Why do *I* have to watch myself and MY actions for fear of turning off my man??? Why is it MY responsibility in the relationship to behave, while "boys will be boys? "

Nonsense. If it's good for me, it's good for him too. Men need to start living up to the standards they impose upon us. If I have to clean up his mess in the kitchen and clean up the pee on the bathroom floor, by god he can listen to me complain about my cramps.

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 6:51am
Ah, but you can't be disgusting early on in a dating relationship bethere there's any exclusivity. You'll notice, in general, that guys save the fart jokes until later on, too. Men need to think you have almost no bodily functions at the beginning...keep some mystery in there. Believe me, this one is RIGHT on. Later on those taboos go away, but when just dating, keep the bodily functions to yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 10:44am

Well yeah, early on in the relationship being polite goes without saying. Number 5 however is refering to "after several months."

After several months, if he hasn't figured out that I have bodily functions just as he does, he's in for a rude awakening. And I'm NOT going to pretend to be Ms. Happy Homemaker all the time, making sure he never sees me without my makeup, making sure I'm always in a good mood, etc. That's asking way too much and it's silly. And if the guy at that point wants to find someone who's willing to pretend for the rest of her life, so be it. He's free to leave.

I just recently read an email from someone about his friend's wife. His friend's wife always leaves the house when she has to go "number 2," or she just waits until her husband leaves, because she doesn't want to do it while he's there.

That's just silly - and it's also not healthy for her. And it's just because she doesn't want to turn him off. Isn't that sweet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 11:49am

Hold up. Why, then, is it perfectly acceptable for men to fart, scratch themselves, not wear deodorant or shower, not shave, miss the toilet, not clean up after themselves... NEED I GO ON?


No offense but its a mutual thing (both parties need to be respectful) and they are focusing on why a man doesn't call - that's the article.


I haven't had any of these problems in years - most of the men I date or get involved with have good hygiene, put the lid up then back down when they're done, shave, wear deodorant and as a rule only fart if its a total accident! I don't ever recall some guy getting his urine on the floor or on the toilet seat (yuck) and have been involved in long term relationships - guess I'm lucky. To me that would be no different then us missing and getting it on the seat (again, mutual respect).

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu