why doesn´t he want to meet me????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
why doesn´t he want to meet me????
7
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 8:26am
I started e-mailing, twice a day, with a guy 8 months ago. We`ve never met but since his accounting firm handles my companies things we have been calling each other, for work related purposes, for almost 3 years.
Even though I think it´s quite obvious that he feels something for me, he´ll write twice a day no matter how much work he has, he sent me messages while he was on vacation, in those e-mails apart from ending them saying "kisses" and many times "many kisses" followed by an entire line of exclamation marks, he´s always saying things that make me believe he is interested in me, etc, etc,; the two times I`ve suggested we meet for a drink, he´s backed out. Last week I asked him what was the reason why he never wanted to have a drink with me. He said that it wasn´t that he didn´t want to, it was just that although he´d thought about several times, he just never got around to it. So here we are, a week after that and we still haven´t met.
I don´t understand what´s going on in his head, is he interested in me or not? I´m 7 years older than he is, he´s single, I´m married (about to go our separate ways) and I have two kids. he knows all of this, and still he seems interested, but why doesn´t he want to meet me?? I desperately need some advice!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 8:38am
Putting aside your marital status for a moment, that's just how it goes online sometimes. I have found the best thing to be is just to take a guy where's he's at, whether online or IRL. Men know the deal, they know if they want to take it to the next level(whatever that level might be) they have to speak up and ask. I emailed with a guy for a while,like a month, just cause the conversation was interesting, but I thought it odd that he never asked to meet or even call me, so that turned me off kind of and I found I just lost interest in the conversation. And it's just easier that way, just sit back and let them take all the initiative, you never have to wonder where they are at that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 8:42am

I wouldn't waste another minute wondering why this guy isn't asking you out. He isn't. Any normal red blooded male who is sincerely interested would have no problem asking you out. Whatever his problem is, if he can't meet you for a drink after all of this communication, he probably isn't somebody you'd want to date anyway. Move on.

Coolas

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 10:14am

'Putting aside your marital status for a moment, that's just how it goes online sometimes'

well that seems depressing considering most people are online dating to go on dates.

That aside, why have you continued to speak with this man when after 8 months he hasnt gone out with you and you've been the one to ask? That sounds odd. I would have stopped talking to him probably the 1st or 2nd time he declined my invitations to go out. I'd think, ok he's not that interested and i want to find someone who is. If you want to have a penpal fine, but it sounds like that's all you're going to get from this guy.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 10:23am

Maybe he's waiting until you are at least actually separated.

Or, it's possible that he's involved with someone and thinks it's ok to have this email flirtation but draws the line at actually meeting in person.

Regardless of the reason, though, there is *something* that is holding him back from meeting you, so I'd let it go. If you aren't happy with just exchanging emails, then stop and tell him that he knows where to find you if he changes his mind about going out some time.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 11:37am
Do you know for SURE that he's single?
heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 11:38am
I think you're mixing posts up, the OP emailed for 8 months.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 12:56pm
how am i mixing up the posts then? I said i thought it was weird that they would continue to email for 8 months, without meeting.