Why get married?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Why get married?
22
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 6:20pm

iteach brought this up in another thread. It seems like it could generate some interesting discussions so I though it deserved its own thread.


If you are online to potentially meet a marriage partner, why is it you want to get married?


What are the pros and cons of getting married or staying single but in a long term relationship?

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 1:24pm

>>But what if you have all those things, just without the paper? It all sounds wonderful, but do you need to be married for it all?<<

That's a fair question. I guess the answer would be "it depends".

Like I said, I was with a splendid woman for several years. We never "got the paper" but had pretty much done everything together for that entire time- like two peas in a pod. :)

For us, we didn't need to be "married" to know that we were together, we were going to be together, and that we were a lifetime couple.

But for most folks, I do think that most of the time there's something to be said for having a formal ceremony of *some* sort to declare what the deal is. And in my fantabulous relationship, there was still a little bit of something in me held back; I'm not exactly sure why or how, but there was.

I believe that the reason you get married is because it's putting it even more out there on the line for your friends, family, society in general to see/know/understand. You are saying "this person is the one for me" and in a way, you're telling them that you want them to call you on it if you misbehave. :)

At some weddings I've been to, the pastor will say something about how marriage vows are not limited to the bride and groom, but are also meaningful to the people attending the wedding. The guests are part of the extended community/family of the married couple, and they have a responsibility as well- to try and support that marriage, encourage it, because it helps all of the greater society and not just the couple getting married.

I think there's something to that. Again, I'm not really sure exactly what it is, but I think that society does need to help our married couples, because the stability that marriage can bring helps society as a whole.

But that's just me. If people are happy NOT being married, hey, more power to them; I'm not slagging on them, since I've been there, done that. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 12:45pm

I was brought up in the Catholic church.

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