Why won't anyone respond?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
Why won't anyone respond?!?!
23
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 11:26am

I tried match/yahoo a few years ago and I had pretty good repsonses....I ended up dating a guy for 1 1/2 years that I met on yahoo.....we broke up last summer...he broke my heart....I thought we truly loved each other and had a future together...but his head is/was messed up....enough of him!!

I'm trying to move on.

I did yahoo for a month....emailed @20 guys..and no one responded....it's basically the same profile I had up 3 years ago and corresponded/dated a few guys!...the same thing is happening to me on match right now....I put in @12 emails this week....NADA...

I do not believe I am hideous...lol.....I think I am a good catch....I didn't write about a broken heart in my profile...trying to stay positive....I am "full-figured"....but I am also writing to "large/stocky/etc" guys!....

Anyone have any words of wisdom?....I did have luck a few years back! This is getting to my ego!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 4:23pm
Yeah, I know what you mean. However, I don't think every woman thinks Adrian Paul is the end all, be all. I know I don't. He's too pretty.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 4:30pm

That's cool, and I respect it very much.

I prefer girls that are about 15 lbs over, even 20.
Not 'claire forlani', which I have been slammed on for
other posts.

However, it seems to me, based on what I know, in this town,
maybe not yours, dunno, if you want a second date it helps
to look like adrian paul.

Maybe its just cultural to here. I don't know.

I could probabably say brad pitt... except he's kinda
a wussy boy compared to adrian, etc.

You get the idea.

The standard here seems to be impossibly high, even if you are not so far off.

My main idea: life myself to the adrian paul level over the next 3-4 months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 4:33pm
And I'll morph myself into the best me that I can. It's really the best thing you can offer, don't you think?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 4:40pm

Ok, you've lost me...what does this have to do with the OP's post? She's not trying to date married men, I don't think????

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 4:42pm

I'm not sure if you are angry or not.

I'm not sure if you are fecitious or not.

I can tell you it does not come up on my radar as what
I do or do not feel is important.

I'm not saying that in a mean way.

what i am saying is: i have been told, and have seen in real life,
if i want date #2, i need to pull myself up to the adrian paul level.

I am working on it.

This isn't about you, its about me. Being all I can be, like in
the commercial lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 4:56pm

Y'all, Y'all,Y'all....

Man, Adrian Paul is not my type, but...okay. I have gone out with/talked to/dated men who are Gorgeous--and WHY am I not with those men now? Because many of them were a 'cheeseburger short of a Happy Meal" and could not carry on a conversation, or were So stuck on their own looks, that they never saw anyone else, so they were Bo-ring!

Yeah, I know that we discussed 'looks mean nothing' and all agree that it IS what attracts someone from a photo or across the room. So, clue me in...thse women are macking up with these married men because they look like A Paul? Wow...very diff than on Planet Cupcake. Must be for the throwdown sex/ momentary thrill of it....and we women wonder why our hearts get smushed under the Love Train SO often?

OLD can work, but the best tip is to NOT care if it does. Not always easy to do, but the more "go/have fun/come home" you can be about it, the better the outcome. Also, give it time; just when you Least expect it, about Four of them will write to you! I liked winks, as it peaks their interest and they make the next move.

Roll on, Little Rock!

Truly,
Cupcake

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 5:12pm

A couple of thoughts on your profile:

The whole first paragraph needs to be changed, IMO...make it specifics about you (who you are as a person and specific details about what you like to do, not things otherwise covered by the profile like height, etc.), rather than the "chick chatter" as LG likes to call it, about all the good men being taken or scared.

The 2nd paragraph is ok (although isn't it "lie" on the floor, not "lay" ;-)?), and the specifics about music, etc are good.

I'd change your primary picture to the 1st or 3rd one; I think either is more flattering than the one you have as primary. Also, a full length picture would be a good idea, so that people know exactly what you mean by "full-figured".

One thing to consider...and I hope you won't take offense at this...a few years ago, there weren't as many specialized sites as there are now, so you might consider also posting your profile on a site that is specifically for plus size daters (although you have to be even more careful of predators who are looking for women they assume are more vulnerable on those sites, I think...that's one of the places I found an ex with whom I was supposedly exclusive (aka "The Liar") trolling for dates). On a main-stream site like match, there's a much smaller percentage of men who are open to dating women who are plus size (I myself am a size 18, and have noted in recent seaches that only maybe 10-15% of male posters in my age range have checked "a few extra pounds" or any of the other plus size categories as an option for their matches).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 10:25pm

Thanks Sheri!!!

Here I think I'm so excited because there are 19 posts...advice for me...and these two guys keep talking about adrian paul...who is THAT?....does HE have advice for my profile?!?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 10:32pm

You're right. My bad. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to hijack but it did end up being that way cuz I don't get this obsession with Adrian Paul. I'm gonna go google him and see what he looks like these days.

As for your profile, I agree with Sheri about the photoshuffling. However, I didn't know plus size dating sites existed. I'll have to check that out too while I'm googling. I am glad that you're feeling ready to get out there again. Good luck to you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 10:33pm

I thought your pictures were good but agree with sheri that the standard head, body and candid are needed. Make them all as clear as possible.

Also, if I remember you talk a bit more about the dating process than the activities you enjoy. The more common ground you can establish by detailing how you spend your free time -- the better.