Women doing the contacting

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Women doing the contacting
6
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 10:35pm

My YP membership is about to expire. I have had some emails, some winks but only one man who emailed me interested me enough to respond but it ended up going nowhere and we never even met.

I rarely meet single, available men from 48-58 in real life and am thinking that OLD is still the only way to go. One friend of mine says that she has better luck contacting men as very few contact her and of those who do, there aren't any that interst her.

I guess I feel that if a man is looking, has viewed my profile and passed on me, why would he respond to any contact from me?

I have been dateless since my divorce was final 3 1/2 years ago and need an end to this nothingness. Should I start doing all of the contacting?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-19-2006 - 3:24am

On the traditional sites (as opposed to CL), I definitely had much better luck with the guys I've contacted than the ones who contacted me. So I'd give it a shot.

The "who's viewed me" feature didn't exist when I was doing those sites though (thank goodness!) so I didn't have to worry about the issue of contacting men who'd already looked at me and passed.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 11-19-2006 - 9:27am
I have no problem doing the contacting, even IF they looked at my profile & didnt contact me.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:47am
Go ahead and contact guys who interest you. Like Sheri, I had better luck with the ones I contacted rather than vice versa.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 8:11pm

t9, do you have your picture up? I only ask this because I didn't put my picture up for the first five months of doing yahoo. I just posted it this weekend on a whim (and after a shot of brandy), and holy heck! I used to get one message a month. I've gotten 30 messages since Saturday. I'm not fabulous looking, just regular, well, maybe pretty "ok" for a 47 yo gal. But I put a picture up that shows my face. I kind of think this is what men look for.

Don't give up. I was feeling like the ogre of internet dating until I posted my pic. If you do have your picture up, make sure you have a good face shot where you are smiling! I saw this one profile recently titled "love to laugh" and the man looked like he could kill your mother!!

Chick

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 1:35pm
Hmmm, I think the responses you got are interesting, only because they are completely opposite from my experience. Maybe it is because we are different ages? (Which, I don't even really know for sure, I'll admit). But, for me, when I was on YP I sent messages to maybe 30 guys I found interesting/attractive/funny, and I didn't get even one reply back! I don't think I've ever actually met a guy in person that I contacted first, and I've met probably 40 or 50 different people through OLD. Crazy, huh? I guess I'm a really extreme case since everyone else seems to have had more luck with the guys they contacted first, but wow... I'm surprised!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 8:19pm

Oh, heavens yes! What if they are all feeling exactly the way you're feeling? Just do an experiment. Pick ten guys who seem approachable. Not supermen or supermodels, just ordinary guys you feel are in your 'league'. Email 5 of them with short, cheery messages, just a few sentences. Now, what have you lost? Nothing. Your dignity is intact. If they don't respond or respond inappropriately, say to heck with them and move on. It isn't personal.

Now, see who responds and email him back, short and sweet. Repeat until you feel you have met a guy you would actually like to meet, then come back to this board for advice on that part.

I swear to you that OLD will only work if you initiate contact. I swear it.

Try it!

sooooobig