women smile me, I email & nothing?!?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
women smile me, I email & nothing?!?!?!
12
Sun, 12-25-2005 - 9:44am

I'm really confused about women online. I send smiles to the women I think would make good matches for me and have a well written, honest profile with picture. At the bottom of my profile, I say, "if you like my profile, send me a smile and I'll email you."

So I do get smiles back, and often they include a short msg preselected from a list the site provides. I go ahead send an email which is'nt to short or long, just touching on a few places I've visited, and mention somethings from they're profiles I found interesting, and after that nothing??? I can see that it's been read but still no reply. Is it that women online have such a huge selection of guys to date that I'm being blown out of the water, or were they just looking for something better???

Whats up girls????

BTW: I'm 30 and the girls I generally send smiles to are 24-30.

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Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 12-25-2005 - 9:55am
Well, depending on what site your using, if you don't include a way for them to contact you, it might just be that they are not paying members & you haven't given them a way to reply. I know you have to include your email on Yahoo & with Match you have to disguise it somehow in the email to get past the filters.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 1:56pm

Sometimes it's timing, i.e., they may have met someone that took their interest for the time being. More likely, however, is that your emails aren't striking any kind of cord with them. That's not a criticism. It's what I find difficult about OLD. How much do you give people what they want vs. how authentic should one be? I feel I can read people very well, but if I try to just be myself, it usually doesn't work. I'm not talking about lying here, it's sort of like putting one's best foot forward, only not in bragging about oneself, but in displaying potential compatibility first. Afterall, everyone's an adjustment.

Well, if any of this made any sense, my advice would be that you have to "read" the women. They obviously have some interest or they most likely wouldn't have smiled back. My guess is they're looking for something from you that makes you stand-out. This would be different to every woman, most likely. This is where reading people comes in. OLD dating is a lot like RLD and meeting. People have to find something they're attracted to or they'll move on, unless they're psycho, but that's another topic. Women a lot of times are looking for a personality spark, depth or at least something that makes you seem like you might be a good risk. I don't know about other women, but for me risk plays a huge part in dating, and not just getting my heart broken. If you make women feel safe and interesting, my guess is you'll get a lot more positive responses. (Of course, if you easily get put into the friends category, you may want to increase physical contact, in a gentlemanly way of course. I reflected back on my male friends and realized that I never knew they had any interest in me because they never touched me, even though I heard from others later that they were interested. "Bad boys" move a lot faster, which I think is the main reason they get the girl more often.) Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 2:03pm

In your emails, do you mention anything about their profiles? Or what you liked about them?


And if you're getting canned responses, they may not be members in which case I would say to put an outside email address in your email to them.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 4:59pm
The site could be experiencing technical difficulties. I had that problem for awhile. I noticed some strange things, contacted customer service and it cleared-up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 6:31pm

More than likely, they are not paying members. On Match, they won't be able to even READ an e-mail from you or know that you sent it if they're not members. On other sites, they will be able to read it, but they can't respond unless they pay.

Another poster suggested sending them a way to contact you away from the site. That will work on any site but Match (I think). Disguise the e-mail to get around their filters ... Example: "Joe Schmoe where the weather is hot" = joeschmoe@hotmail.com.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 7:44pm

Actually they can respond to my emails for free after I send them one. The way it works is I pay using credits and then all the emails going back and forth are no charge after the first.

I'm thinking the women just have such a huge pool of guys to choose from that they just dont have time to respond to everyone. Wish they wouldn't send a smile back if that was the case.

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 7:55pm
Ah, are you using Lavalife?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 10:02pm
I'm still curious about your responses... do you just speak about you or do you reference their profiles?


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 10:06am
Well, it happens on both sides. One guy on Lavalife sent me both a smile and an email. In the email, he told me how breathtaking he thought I was, yadda, yadda. I do not pay on LL but like you said, I could respond back to his email so I did with a brief reply commenting on a few things he said in his profile. Never heard back from the dude so either my wit didn't match up with my stunning beauty, he sends that spam email to everyone or he found a better offer. I don't take it personally anymore.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 12:54pm
Maybe you are just smiling at the wrong ones..

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